There is a single phenomenon within a dream, common to many practitioners, which has such a specific aura and an extraordinary type of event that begins to twist the overall projection of the dream, like a black hole that attracts and affects the movement of the entire worlds around. It is precisely why this phenomenon is black, like the darkest and most passionate night. It is the shadow experience in our projections that usually occurs just after we leave the body, or even earlier – in the sleep paralysis phase. The appearance of a shadow is always accompanied by the appearance of primordial, horrified, and living fear inside us. It is such specific fear that it seems to have existed longer than we have been alive as if it is the fear of all beings who have walked upon this earth. What we can learn by observing the experiences of practitioners is that the closer we are to the body, the greater the appearance of this fear. It occupies our thinking apparatus and almost entirely directs the projection in its own way. We will repeat what we have stated earlier because this statement is crucial for understanding the phenomenon of shadow in lucid dreaming:
“Indeed, many Aspirants of lucid dreaming find a unique phenomenon that is the same for everyone, and that continues to shock and frighten Aspirants who cannot overcome the specific appearance of the shadow in their experiences for years. This shadow experience, which occurs in its manner of frequency, always brings the ultimate horror, terror, and insurmountable fear into a dream experience where the Aspirant has no control over the projection. Many Aspirants cite this as their worst nightmare, and that shadow usually feeds on their strangest and most ingrained childhood fears, which have such destructive power once they have risen in a lucid dream. But if lucid dreaming brings benefits in anything, it is precisely in the assimilation of this shadow. The very success in lucid dreaming is nothing compared to the experience of assimilating the shadow in a dream – which could be one of the most important undertakings of the Aspirant he may have had before Abramelin once he has found tremendous courage before the projection and managed to present it to himself as the goal of the projection, if he approaches the shadow, embraces it and to feels it illuminate. So little technical knowledge is needed for this, but so much devilish love and courage – the same one that will later take him along the whole of Abramelin operation.”
It is in this phenomenon that we can find such an open action of the Vampire who haunts the Neophyte. The exploration of lucid consciousness now gives this action an altogether clearer nature. It is extremely important for the Neophyte to experience this fear and even work for some time to become aware of such projections within his lucid dream. All he has to do is that during the phantom rocking phase, when he feels that there has been a separation from the physical body, or in the void phase, he simply wants to meet the shadow. This is really all it takes to launch this terrifying experience. The shadow needs intention more than anything, as well as the initial stage of a lucid dream. It is almost impossible to find it when we teleport or after we strengthen our vision.
In practical terms, we can expect the following: after we have found ourselves motionless after waking up, as we begin with a phantom movement or turning our head back, right after a few seconds, we begin to hear buzzing – something like a fan, but on a much subtler level. As we continue with the phantom movement, this sound becomes more and more like a rattlesnake with a specific fear beginning to appear and openly growing in us. That sound is getting louder every second, we now hear a huge, massive body crawling on the floor and that fear growing in us even more. Finally, we roll to the side, coming out of the body, falling from our bed onto the floor, start touching and move away from the body. After obtaining the vision, we find ourselves in the hallway of our apartment. All around us is the twilight, very dim light of the lamps, which prevents us from seeing the whole ambiance clearly. We have a sense of the special weight that this lucid experience radiates, and no matter how hard we try to strengthen our vision and deepen our dream, this feeling of heaviness and darkness is equally present. We continue to hear the sound of something being dragged along the floor coming from the next room and now slowly approaching our position; at the same time, the hissing intensifies. Paralyzing fear overwhelms our being while preventing us from doing anything creatively and escaping this dream scene – every second we give legitimacy to this fear by waiting for it in a daze. The sound is approaching, and we finally notice the shadow at the end of the corridor. We can hardly see anything except that it is colossal. The sound of dragging on the floor becomes even louder – now it is only a few meters away, and we suddenly see a huge creature in front of us, which is as tall as the ceiling – a huge snake almost a meter wide, with black scales that seem to breathe in a demonic way, making a suffocation-like sound. Instead of a snake’s head, there is a head of an old man with slicked back black hair on top of it, with curvy eyes and an open mouth, with that monstrous sound of the hissing of a rattle and a subtle scream coming out of it. As if it is a completely independent entity, the fear in us grows and controls our reactions, making the experience completely passive on our part. That horrifying creature begins to hover over us, and the eyes of that serpent-grandsire are now staring at us, and instead of hissing, it now begins to scream and howl. Then, the whole vision disappears, and we return to the physical plane, not losing consciousness but equally holding that fear in us in the same way as it was a few moments ago. The experience of the fear that dominated our being is still in us, long after the dream. We have the impression that the whole next day is colored by that terror.
This would be an improvised event and a brief description of a shadow experience. It really takes a very long time to overcome such fear and approach this being. But the experience of communication and open acceptance of such a creature is one of the most authentic experiences an Aspirant can ever have. Hugging him, inasmuch as it is simply impossible as a choice in those moments, makes us experience something we will wear throughout this whole quest of ours. Such a victorious decision will give us strength and direction more than all the meditations and rituals we have performed so far. This simple movement will open more light than darkness and fear the shadow possessed at first. Because in the end, it will truly be a creation of light, while fear is only our projection towards that light. The fear of darkness is disturbing indeed, but the fear of light and fear of truth is paralyzing and terrifying, so much that it stops entire Universes in its movement.
Saying what a shadow is and what are the benefits of working with it is as poisonous as a discussion about the nature of angels and about right or wrong rituals. Simply and very concretely, the only measure in all this is our experience, so all that can be said about it is to get in touch with the shadow within a lucid dream at all costs. How this experience will be embodied in our lives will depend solely on ourselves.
It is necessary to say something more about fear, which is a very common occurrence in sleep paralysis. It can appear independently of the shadow; still, it is made up of the same part of our being as the shadow. Inexperienced practitioners may fear that they will not return to the body, that they will die trapped between worlds, that they will go insane, or have a heart attack. These are unrealistic and utterly phantasmagoric urges that always occur when we turn our attention to the side effects of getting out of the body instead of the action plan we made before the projection. These side effects can have an infinite number of different forms and combinations: from sound distractions and hallucinations to thought creations that simply deviate from the exit procedure to visual flashes of light, color, and form in our field of vision. Such distractions are really diverse, and they all bring the practitioner to a region that is neither there nor here. Neither in a dream nor in reality, and it is in this area that our boyish fears and phobias get the opportunity to march our lives again for the first time in so many years, dominating again over our thinking apparatus, which is completely blocked in front of them. This re-survival of hellish horrors is an extremely interesting experience, and it can be said that all childhood fears are very close to our Pure Will – only if we approach them frontally, hugging and not running away from them, frightened and averted. For light is perceived only if viewed directly; every aspiration to accept it from the corner or from the side, or with the eyes closed, refracts that divine light. But not in colors, as is the case with a rainbow, but in night and darkness of our ignorance and unwillingness to embrace what we fear. And we are afraid of what is in front of us all the time – there, now, always present above us and inside us – such is the quality of the Angel, every presence in a lucid dream is, in fact, only a mechanism for alleviating that fear of looking into that light with eyes wide open. Both shadow and fear in a lucid dream are always and only routes to the Angel who tells us where to go – if we dare and if we find courage and Will. Because if we are not ready to embrace such a foreign and horrible shadow, how will we dare perform the Great Work? If we fail in our own dream, how much can we expect from ourselves in the wakefulness? Indeed, a dream is an ideal playground for the soul. Whether you weave light or shadow on this divine loom is ultimately the same thing – as long as the game is played with the same enthusiasm, the ultimate attainment will always be the same, no matter how impossible it may seem to us.