It is essential for the Neohpyte to learn to dissect aspects of an idea, and for the first time to learn to distinguish realms, to feel elements, not to define them. To feel the Angel, not to have Knowledge and Conversation with Him. That sensation is also one of the most fantastic things that he, as an A∴A∴ Aspirant will ever feel upon his being. That sensation is in fact the chief architect of all the experiences that are yet to be lived through, and it all becomes one sophisticated mind game that his soul will fall into. All that the Aspirant is going to experience, including the interpretation of these words, will reshape and use that sensation, which will manifest the Angel at the same time, only somewhere in the distant corridor of time and space. Like the Probationer who is only the one who has not awakened yet, in the same way is the Neophyte an Adept who has not slept enough. Exactly the same mechanism is at stake, but in the opposite direction. The Probationer wakes up, while the Neophyte dreams while being awake. It is the same consciousness, but a completely different world in which that consciousness is found. Continuous attention, however, is what we have here, and it is a feature of our great Order.
He slowly becomes aware that his Achievement is in Awakening rather than Revelation, that the Will is to be awoken not found, like spring that leans on winter just a bit. These are not two realities, but one, now presented in two opposite elements and in two different circumstances. He discovers that Knowledge and Conversation is in no way in new or transcendent knowledge that awaits on him, but rather something that he has forgotten. If the Neophyte wants to be Now, then when is it Now? If the Aspirant meditates carefully on desire, he will realize that the desire is an echo of the present. In other words, when you wish for something you have already wanted it a moment ago, something that you have yet to get again. Desire is the compensation of the Will, which is mantled in Binah and Malkuth in the same way. In fact, it is fair to say that the moment the Will blew by Binah, it was at the same “moment” that it was found in Malkuth. Just remind ourselves that the Universe path has a double attribution: it is an earth element, but also an aspect of Saturn as a planet and Binah. The phenomenon of matter cannot be separated from the phenomenon of time, as it is one and the same thing, just like the Conversation and Knowledge are just part of one and same occurence.
The only true process that happens in your universe is remembering, because the aspirant experiences one and the same thing in an infinite number of times. But as time does not exist in the form you understand it now, from the point of view of the true reality, what is then remembering again? Because if yesterday did not even happen and if there is no yesterday, how can you even recall anything? And really, where is yesturday? In a fact or remembering? If you are timeless in endless recalling, then who is the one who recalls at all? And most importantly – Who does one remember of? Everything you do, you have done countless times before. Each time is the same, you cannot but do something you have already done. Each time is the same. And as you do, whatever you are doing, meditating or not, observing the horizon or not, the trick is to realize that you are not watching it for the first time, it has not been your choice to watch what you are looking at. And finally, to realize that it is not actually you doing what you are doing. What is being done is done through you. When you look, you are not the one watching, you are what you are looking at. When you eat, you are not the one who eats, but what you eat. But in the highest form, you are not food but eating. You are not life but living. When you attain to the Angel and when you acquire the Knowledge and Conversation you are not the one who Knows and has Conversation. You are already the Knowledge having Conversation with one who is only able to recall that knowledge to a certain extent.
Frater 273∴
Frater 273 | Reflections on Thelema 