Meditation for the soul is what masturbation is for the body; both things are identically related to the idea of enjoying the Self. And just as the stimulus of physical stimulation culminates in the transcendence of that act – in orgasm, after which there is nothing of that pleasure and interest, so it is with meditation. The end of meditation is what we can only assume to be called enlightenment, which is a stimulus to mental representations in what we call Dharana. But after that, after Samadhi, there is nothing, in the same way as the moment after orgasm is completely freed and deprived of any idea that was practiced by masturbation, that is, meditation. No man lives forever in the splendor of an orgasm. The end of that experience is in complete contrast to all the blissful lust. Both orgasm and Samadhi are but poetic ends that are entirely opposite to all the logical course of stimulation; both ends make stimuli meaningless as well as the desire for stimuli. After an orgasm, there is no desire, just as after enlightenment, there is no Self. Both ends are empty and impersonal, devoid of any logical and meaningful development – which brutally strikes upon our being building a great wall of defense against that nonsense, bringing that end into the same line as the idea of death, emptiness, and the Demon of the Abyss.
We can say that the next step is to join these two concepts, which is, in a way, a tantric occasion. In both things, we deal with ourselves in a specific way, and we get a certain degree of joy. But the problem is that in meditation, there is no such automated effect of enjoyment much too often as it is there in meditation, which means that we have not caught the essence of the technique and nothing more. In a similar way as if we expected to experience an orgasm in masturbation by touching the index finger of the right hand. It is exactly the same kind of mistake. We have to follow the flow of pleasure, and just as the climax of masturbation is in orgasm, so the climax of every meditation is the awakening of Pure Will.
The beginning and the end of the war always look the same. It is the same with meditating and performing rituals. In the beginning, everything goes so wonderfully, so vigorously, but very soon, everything starts to fail, and as everything starts failing, nothing else can be assumed within the work. The whole work is a decadent decline, and the performance itself is something that you would spare your worst enemy of. Everything is going well, and everything is logical when we think about work, but when work has happened now and here, then everything goes wrong. It is entirely pointless to wait for this period to pass. On the contrary, it is a question of saturation of the senses. We just think we are falling even though we are actually standing still. In complete nothingness, there is neither up nor down. Hence, the decadence of work is as much an illusion as work enthusiasm and attainment. There is nothing to achieve, as there is nothing to fail. As long as we feel the momentum, we will be equally mistaken. But to think of that floating and flat state, letting our thoughts rise or fall, while our Spirit has always been silence, is the real attainment to which a magician as a yogi should aspire.
We must never bring the idea of a trance together with anything that meditation has. The same goes for a term like Yoga. Meditation is a natural state of human consciousness; in fact, it would be right to discuss what meditation is not. And we can indeed conclude that there is no part of the Universe that does not meditate in the most sublime way possible, in the same way that we can say that there is no part of that Universe that does not exercise its Will. But that will certainly not be enough for this presentation. We need details, so many details, so many instructions on meditation in order to come to the final but decent valuable conclusion. But alas, this is such an unnecessary theoretical strain that we will deal primarily with practical analogies. Pointing out the correct meditation is an interesting action as describing the experience of the Knowledge and Conversation. Just because you are interested in this, it probably means you have not attained it. Just because you have not attained it means you are unable to know. But there is something in between that makes us overcome this paradox. That is the motivation and illustration of what is already beginning to materialize in your mind. And that is understanding. We really should not think that meditation should be a vector value. It is alive and pulsating in all directions – and it should be understood primarily as a play, not as a task.
Indeed, nothing is easier than meditation. And nothing harder than meditating. This statement and paradox will continue to destroy the minds of both the Neophyte and Zelator as long as they are tied to their grades as firmly as our teaching tells them. But to move from the usual streams of meditation is the gift of gifts. There is nothing worse than meditating like one did yesterday. No matter how good such meditation was yesterday, it will be desperate today. Therefore, meditate as you have never before – always and in every place, do it even so differently as if you deliberately wanted a complete failure – even if you had a vision of the Hawk-headed Lord until yesterday. And while having an intention to fail, you will find the most profound degree of meditation just because it is different. But you have to become a child in this, without remaining a child.
Then, sit in your Asana and try not to do anything, especially not to meditate. If there is a way to the Buddha, then you must do your best not to go a step that way. Think wrongly on purpose, accumulate unnecessary thoughts in your mind, do not think of the Oneness, think of millions of other things, deliberately be divided by the One source, avoid enlightenment as the worst plague. Do your best not to do well. You must never do well, you must not enlighten yourself, nor do anything that could bring you even closer to the truth. If there is calmness or emptiness in your mind, you must stop immediately if you feel that you are doing well. Your Asana and Pranayama must be poorly performed. Even spontaneous control and coordination of posture and breathing must not occur. You must not meditate. You have to understand that this is a very difficult task. Take care because the mind can think of ways and means to deceive you, and after a second of not paying close attention, you may find yourself in Samadhi.
Then, try to imagine the numbers that appear in your mind, but in no way and in no form should you utter those numbers in yourself. The end of this exercise and complete success would point to Samadhi. Observe the numbers that are drawn in your mind, like seconds on a digital clock, without naming them with words or any terms.
Then, with wide eyes open, observe things in your sight and keep your eyes on them without naming them.
Then, as you are walking, imagine that you are rotating the whole Earth, like on the top of the circus ball, while the final destination is going towards you, as you passively rotate the giant globe with your legs. After some minutes, your awareness will become dizzy. At that moment and only then, you just need to jump in the air, straight up. You should experience something quite wonderful as your awareness will shift in one completely distant and inconceivable realm.
Then, there is a remarkable meditation of listening to yourself as you speak. This is such a sublime and magnificent exercise that an Aspirant can fly into Samadhi without any prior announcement in a very short time. Try listening to your words as if they were spoken by someone else, not you. You have to try to hear them from afar, like listening to a musical piece by your favorite composer. You have to concentrate on listening to what you are saying as if they were someone else’s words being told to you. You have to be more of a listening ear than a speaking tongue.
Finally, meditate on God, but under one condition. He must look and be God like no other. He must not have a character like any other, no name, no shape, no color or smell, he must not be a single knowledge that you have. It must be an absolutely new phenomenon and feeling that you have never experienced before. You must find a new, utterly new siege of this Universe with a new deity. That God you have not been able to find until now is your personal God, just as no other God has been able to find anyone like you until now. Now merge with him who is your God as much as you are his.
But finally, go with someone to a fine restaurant having a nice dinner; tell him or her to completely close their eyes while you quietly read the first, second and third Enochian key and strongly concentrate on the invoking force, and as they are doing this, put all food in a previously prepared bag. Then run away with the bag in silence.