There is no one in this world who can tell you where or what this path is, as long as you follow your nose, you are on the right track. No system on this planet can tell us anything about this path, simply because we all know perfectly well that deep inside us, we really know everything. We know that path, and we know the end of that path. And again every time we wake up we ask ourselves over and over again where we are, instead of where we are going. We sometimes forget our place due to our endless wanderings, and we tend to ask this question out of melancholy, remembering all beings and Gods we met till now, some of them long gone, many of them never to meet again. Therefore, we ask where we are, sometimes from that natural childlike desire that comes from depths, to wake up at the place where we were yesterday, in the life and the body which we had when we were truly happy. This day is not yesterday, as tomorrow we will not be where we are now. That urge which puts us on the path, even more, which defines that path, is a mystery of the highest order. That urge is the A∴A∴ in its pure light, although we will never have the courage to say whether it is a consequence or justification of the path. This instinct that drives us, like the acid that bites our feet when staying in the same place just a moment longer, the instinct which forces us and pushes us further, so much further, is the magnificent reward of a Probationer and the value of our entire Order; all the Grades together are not worthy of one single day of Probationer’s temptation. The Superior must respect every moment of each Probation, for he will see in that what he has already seen from the first day of his own temptation until the final attainment of his current Grade. The sensation about movement, the feeling that you are on your way, that you have gone, the unmistakable impression that something is changing, that everything is changing, the thought that you are becoming mad, that you cannot go further into your Probation. The thought that you will fail. All this tells you one a certain thing: that you are on the right trail.
For the worst thing which can happen to the Probationer is that nothing happens. By signing the Oath, you have initiated one mechanism which in its own complexity does not have one simple command. The command to be recalled. For the Probationer, nothing will be the same again, not because the Universe is changing, but because he will change. That change is that path we have mentioned. The Probationer observes that everything is in the move; the universe reveals to him hidden areas and thousands of splendorous realms. But the truth is quite different. He is the one who changes, as he is the one who moves the universe with that change. This mechanism is conditional, and it is impossible to separate one process from the other, for it is quite the same thing. Changing yourself is impossible without changing everything else, like gears in a clock mechanism; you will never be able to say with certainty which gear has triggered the whole thing. For the moment you move one, all the other will move instantly. Now, if you move another, the whole device reacts in the same way, running all the others identically. Your illusion is that you are moving the gear, and your hand and all gears in the clock and your will to move that one gear is just a part of the same mechanism. And just like this one gear could not move the other without your hand, that the second gear pushes the first one through you, now making the whole of you as the third gear and a part of such exalted scheme.
The A∴A∴ is that mechanism; you cannot move any gear if you have not been moved by the other one, previously. After all, your will for moving is just a consequence of that same mechanism which affects you much earlier, through some other gear and some other consciousness.
2 thoughts on “Clockwork”
Resonant and attention focusing. Thanks for making.
Really dig the observations below and the way in which you wrote them. Poetic and instructive.
“The sensation about movement, the feeling that you are on your way, that you have gone, the unmistakable impression that something is changing, that everything is changing, the thought that you are becoming mad, that you cannot go further into your Probation. The thought that you will fail. All this tells you one a certain thing: that you are on the right trail.”
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Thank you very much Casey!
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