The Mystery of LAM

Crowley’s paintings of Aiwass and Lam

The Neophyte will certainly have opportunities to encounter a variety of bits of intelligence that can steer his work to unimaginable heights – but in the same way, disrupt his progress to the point where he can find himself wandering around the same thing for years without accepting any change that has been meant for him. They are different and exceptional kinds of guides – and their appearance will not be closely conditioned by our skill in clairvoyance and scrying. Sometimes meeting them can happen on a purely physical plane, which is very rare, and should further increase practitioners’ skepticism about themselves and their mental health, but always maintaining the specificity of following traces left by such guides.

The intelligences in our work have a significant influence, whether because of their objective existence or because of the power attributed to them by our own mind; the fact is that they act upon us largely and strongly, even if we accept that they do not exist at all. During his work, the Aspirant will encounter many types of intelligences. Some are basic and elemental in nature. Others are those coming from the shadows, hosts of their own perversions, fears and complexes, some are lovely like the most beautiful garden flowers, while others are bitter and angry. The classification itself is a necessary evil. If nothing else, it indicates our own morality and not the weapons dissected by our mind out of its own fear of accepting its own limitation. Gods, Angels, energies, spirits, demons, Archangels, and Seraphs are just ideas and forces of nature. But until the prefix of “our own” is added to that nature, their division will be a consequence of confusion, and all our experiences will be nothing but the glorification of our own weakness. The classification of beings is as important as it is important to ourselves, so the fact that a famous actor lives in our neighborhood has no effect on us if we are not movie fans.

But there seems to be a certain type of intelligence that guides souls in a special, very authentic, and unique way and deserves to be addressed in detail. One of them is certainly Lam, a being that, by its uniqueness, occupies a completely remarkable place in our history. Crowley included the portrait of Lam in his “Dead Souls” exhibition held in Greenwich Village, New York, in 1919, and it can equally be found in Blue Equinox. In that same year, it was published as a frontispiece labeled The Way, to Crowley’s commentary to Blavatsky’s The Voice of the Silence. Beneath the picture was the following inscription:

“LAM is the Tibetan word for Way or Path, and LAMA is He who Goeth, the specific title of the Gods of Egypt, the Treader of the Path, in Buddhist phraseology. Its numerical value is 71, the number of this book.”


It can be said that it is an intelligence very similar to Aiwass; one would equate these two beings – which indicates the inner teacher by its nature and the type or form of consciousness of man himself, rather than, perhaps, pointing to a specific entity. The portrait of Lam seems to serve in its completely fantastic way as a portal to deeper dimensions of Selfhood. And all it takes to work with him is to stare at him – looking at his eyes – just that, and nothing more. The experiences of working with Lam are as special as working with the Enochian realm; it is a completely specific form and course of a vision, which has an apocalyptic and extremely futuristic design in its nature. Visions are often extremely emotionally charged and shocking with disturbing content. It is difficult to give a concrete opinion about what Lam really is. But nature has arranged that the technique of working with him is diametrically easy in relation to the ambiguity of his nature. Indeed, the whole essence is reflected in staring in his eyes, paying additional attention to the peripheral field of vision. The longer the Aspirant looks within them, the more he is drawn to a very special plane, and the more time he spends staring, the more he realizes that he is looking into himself, projected into the ultimate future. This quiet Self bypasses all our work really skillfully; its traces can be found all over the planet, and again, nowhere specifically. His character is the only method of working with him. All other methods are actually variants of the simple set of instructions used by his character as a means of Dharana. It is tomorrow’s version of our earthly Self. It is a projection of our physical phenomenon that is not satisfied with mundane perception of reincarnation. But always and in every respect, a Neophyte must know that every character is always just one character, every encounter is always just one same encounter – meeting one’s own Self. Every intelligence is actually a reminder of that character residing within ourselves. But there is a certain system of work that we go along, telling us that the sum of all intelligences and entities in the Universe is always and only One.

The work itself is very simple; sitting in his meditating position, the Aspirant is told to “stare into” Lam’s eyes, in exactly the same way as we stated earlier when working with Tattvas, observing those eyes without blinking and concentrating on the peripheral vision, that is, the peripheral darkness that surrounds a circle of vision centered on Lam’s portrait. In the same way as the mechanism of obtaining visions is activated, until black cobweb has touched his narrow eyes, and until those narrow eyes have sucked in the Aspirant’s own mind. All experiences that occur must be well studied by the Neophyte because there, he can recognize completely new sensations and get completely new conclusions about himself and the Universe. The work should be done in the evening, just before bedtime, and should be understood more as a form of evening meditation and Yoga Nidra than anything else. In this work, we are sliding toward a completely different world. Our attention must not in any way set off the alarms of our consciousness, which triggers defense mechanisms according to strange and distant experiences – those in the form of failure and an empty vision. Simply, you have to create a feeling in yourself resembling looking at your pictures from early childhood; on the one hand, you do not remember being photographed, but on the other hand, you know that it is you – a relationship distant and yet close enough to connect yourself personally and biologically.


“Fifth Ray”
Friday, January 23rd 2004
05:23 – 06:02

I am stepping through a portal, and I appear in a small bay, on the seashore. There are fjords around me, it is gloomy and overcast. I am walking wearing autumn clothes. I sat on the sandy beach and started throwing pebbles into the water, making concentric circular waves. I am watching them, and that brings up change. The waves reach the shore causing the soil to tremble, letting big black leeches emerge from the sand. It excites me in a strange way. I lie on my back on the sand while leeches slowly start sucking my blood. I feel pain, then relief. I feel the life energy coming out of my body. I am now in the position of the “Hanged Man.” As the last drop of blood has left my body, so are leeches moving away and returning to sand. All that has left is my consciousness.

An airy figure of Lam appears on the surface above the sea, watching me. In the center of the circular waves I made, there is now Lam’s head. I get cramps, and I twitch. Lam sucks me into his skull. In the beginning, I cannot see anything, it is completely dark, but as time goes by, I realize that I am on one bed, connected to strange devices. A voice tells me not to worry because something miraculous is going to happen. I feel the electricity in my body. At one point, I experience a love affair with a female Lam-like creature; I am experiencing an abstract sexual relationship with that being, a supreme love pleasure. At the moment of orgasm, I suddenly return to my body, and now I am on the beach again. I get up revived, and reborn. It is night; there is no one. I look at the sea – it is now a sea of sperm. I expand my consciousness, I grow, and I realize that I am actually in my brain. Then, I become my body as a whole.

“Seventh ray”

I am sitting in god asana, with pranayama 6+6 without kumbhaka. Some time passes, maybe about fifteen minutes, when the first signs of automatic stiffness and sweating appear. I changed consciousness gradually, as pranayama shows its influence on my body. At the very end, I interrupted the pranayama and began to stare into the endless dark ink behind the eyelids. The vision becomes spherical, the darkness begins to distort and eventually becomes three-dimensional. I gazed at this three-dimensional darkness in front of me, completely calm and somehow alone.

I began to vibrate the name, imagining it goes toward blackness and empowering it with its Nature. The darkness began to shake and resonate with the nature of the name. In the end, I simply stepped into that darkness. I was projecting instantly and without any effort; in fact, from the moment when the darkness became three-dimensional, I was a great part in my astral body, only the intention to move forward is missed. Interesting things happen when you observe the darkness, in the same way as when we stare in the mirror, the essence is to look with the peripheral view and let everything is covered by a dim cobweb, which is a purely physiological effect. At the same time, the Change in consciousness occurs, which is ideal for astral projection; especially as the three-dimensionality of the blackness arises, then the simple effort of will is quite sufficient to submerge “into it.”

At first, I was moving very slowly. I was in a dark tunnel, I only managed to touch the walls beside me, but I could not see anything. I went forward for a short while; it often happens that when I am too close to my physical shell, and the transition to astral body performs quickly, then I have to distance myself from the physical body so I can get a vision; as if in some strange way there exist interference. Usually, soon after moving away I begin to get a clearer picture, the image is crystal clear, and transition to the astral body is complete. That procedure happens also this time, I continued to walk ahead blindly touching space in front of me until I gradually saw the contours of the wall. In the end, I walked through a narrow tunnel, very dark. The brightness could only be seen somewhere in the distance, and it was somehow blue in nature. Now I went into a large round room in which center was a well filled with water. The scene was beautiful, the blue color glittered on the walls as the light was shining from the well. The whole space and atmosphere were filled with the murmur of water. Here the clarity of the vision was exceptional, without any difference in relation to reality. The only difference was in the consciousness, which was drastically changed at this place. I sensed great energy and stability, I had the impression that I could stay in this sphere for hours without going back to the physical realm. Only then did I notice that I was dressed in my Robe, with Lamen on my chest. I leaned over the well and looked down. The miraculous energy was strongly trying to pull my Being inside. So it was, and I removed Robe from myself and jumped in, firmly holding my Lamen. I poured into the bluish ocean, the bottom was very close, and the depth was not more than a few meters. I dived forward and soon I reached the shore. There was a desert in front of me, an unprecedented ocean behind. The sun was at noon.

I came out of the water and looked at the vastness of the sand infinity. At this point, I felt strong collapsing of my vision and I wanted Change, fearing that it would break and dissolve. Therefore, I began invoking the Guide. In front of me, in the form of sandy wind, the ghostly Jinn appears; it was a beautiful girl of almost red skin and black long straight hair. Over her body, she had a white transparent silk cloth covering her face also. I gave the signs and the names but in the end, everything sealed with the LVX signs and names of the Great Elemental King and with the Three Great Secrets names of God. I felt a huge strain of force and devastation in her, but with the last names, she calmed down and gave me one large rod. Only when I took it in my hands I saw that it was actually a wrapped, thin carpet. I spread it in front of myself as I noticed the head of the Baphomet engraved on it. I started to stare at the head and immediately felt the presence of great Change as I did so, so I continued to focus on the vision. Not a few moments passed, everything around me began to grow apart and when vision settled down again, I found myself in one large stone hall. I stood in its center, and three men sat in high chairs in front of me; a young man, a middle-aged man, and an old man holding instruments in their hands and playing. It was very unusual and disturbing music. They were all dressed in yellowish outfits. The young man played the harp, a middle-aged man a mandolin, and an old man something that resembled as violin only with an even thicker resonant box. On the floor was a tapestry with an Enochian tablet of air, everything around me was airy – from clothes to instruments; their method was based on trembling of the wire, yet the ultimate outcome of their music was anxiety and almost mournful sadness. Only then did I notice the nature of the sphere behind my back; far from behind was the stone sarcophagus of the knight. I came to it very hard; the movement was rather difficult, although the vision remained perfectly clean. It was the Brother Knight Templar; I concluded this by the back of the shield that rested on the stone figure of the sarcophagus.

A flower wreath was placed on the head of the statue. Whole this place was filled with a very sad atmosphere. I started calling the guide with the names of Ruach, but I did it very quietly, for I did not want to disturb the atmosphere that was so sad, so full of dignity and honor. Soon, the tiny spark of very strong light slowly began to descend from the height, which ultimately fell on the head of the Knight’s statue; the light began to extinguish and finally, I saw a small scarab. And then Change started to show its motion, for I never heard of that music anymore, nor did I see anything around. In one moment I felt the sensation of the presence of LAM, as I clearly hear his voice that began to tell me the following words: “do not think of him as a knight, nor a priest, for he certainly is not. Think of him as the Charioteer, the bearer of the Holy Spirit. Although it is not the SanGraa yet.” These were his words, and maybe I forgot something; in any case, this was the essence of what I heard, the exact form is not so important.

At that moment, the scarab entered the sarcophagus through a small hole. Now everything around me began to dissolve and I almost completely went out from experience. I had a very clear vision, but I started to gain a consciousness on my physical body, which in most cases shows the beginning of the end of the astral experience. In my vision, I noticed little scarab dragging himself into the clothes of the warrior, how he crawling upon his body, then leaving the sarcophagus carrying the blood of the knight with him. He is crawling over land covered with deceased knights; now I found myself on a battlefield, this scarab crawl through many dead warriors, dragging traces of blood behind. All this blood is combined and scarab, carrying a bloody trail behind him, through the all this vision began to draw the symbol of the royal lily. Now I am looking at the thousands of graves and crosses piled into the ground. But the voice of LAM came back to me again (this time very dim and distant) telling me that these are not the features of death by no means. Now the vision is enlarging and I see that these crosses are only stubbornly stabbed swords. LAM tells me that these knights are not killed, their struggle is transmitted by knowledge of “one particular place“. His words were: “they are dead, but they are not killed. They are dead, every one of them!“. Now I see other knights approaching the graves and drawing crosses, actually swords and with them, they continue to travel further. I see thousands of them extracting the swords out from the ground and walking together in colonies.

Then again I felt the terrible pressure in my strange convex bone on my occiput, and I saw scarab who entered into one large book. Then appears a dagger piercing a scarab, the book closes rapidly, and when it opens again, the paper was smeared by his blood and I quite clearly saw the symmetrical drawing of flower crochet in the form of a perfect circle. Suddenly, everything disappears, and I once again saw the Knights’ sarcophagus and his flower wreath. This vision is growing, and now that wreath becomes the same circle as the sign of the European Union.

Again, everything disappears, and I found myself once more on the battlefield. Besides every dead knight, it is one being who looks like LAM, dressed in Robe. They immersed their fountain pen into the blood of the knights and wrote thousands of books; thousands of scribes over thousands of dead knights. The pressure in my occipital bone was irreconcilable.

I heard the voice of LAM for the last time, now almost soundless: “do not grieve for them, none of them. For they are dead, all to One; yes, they are dead, all to One“. Here it was very difficult for me to stay in the vision, I almost feel nauseated. “But the books are not futile, with their blood they will write to you about their place.” “What place?“, I replied. Then I was told: “such a terrible place!” And that is where everything is interrupted and I come back completely, very exhausted.

“Twelfth Ray”
Monday, January 26th 2004
22,43 – 23,51h

I waited for the darkness to turn into a three-dimensional sphere, observing it with a peripheral view, so I can always easily step into the astral sphere in front of me; on the other side, I was already greatly changed. I am walking in darkness, and nothing is happening except for darkness. Behind me are various shells and planets of the world. In front, however, there was nothing for a long time. I became aware that I was in a very specific plane, so I gave up vibrating and calling out a guide. What could even lead me here when there is nothing? I arrived in the land which is void of desire, but far from not having desire in my own soul. Suddenly, all this turned out to be deception, and I found myself walking down the path that led to a black cube in the middle of a sandy desert. Darkness remained far, far behind desires. That plane had appeared to me many times before, maybe it had been the same one from the beginning, but now, accustomed to desire, I summoned the Vision and the Voice. Soon, I arrived to the very entrance to the cube, it was a temple without windows or carvings. A pure monolithic cube with an incised octagon above the blue door. Inside, the plane was calling to me in its change, I found a huge lake with silver fog evaporating. An equally ugly and enchanting girl was waiting on the shore in a wooden boat. As I did not think of her as a guide, my time became insignificant as we crossed the lake. We were approaching a small island on which a pyramid had been built. Only then did I notice that the lake was made of blood. As we stepped onto the ground of the island, I headed straight for the little pyramid. Inside, I found again the change of the plane expressed in a huge hall, a really huge, unspeakably huge hall inside that small pyramid; the hall was so big that I could not see the ceiling or its perimeter. That is where I stepped into a great change.

In the center, there was an altar in a form of perfect double cube, with four marble paths leading to it, each in elemental colors. I came to the blue marble path. On the altar lay a wooden oval tray, just that and nothing more. At that time, the door in the distance opened, and high kings-priests began to approach the altar. I moved a little to the side because I got the feeling that I needed to observe from afar. The kings-priests were giants, over 4 meters tall. I did not see their faces, but they were of elementary attributions. I knew that these were 4 holy Enochian kings, so I greeted them all with the name EHNB. These were specific beings like Adonai Malakh, and they happened to be waiting for something. And now, a beautiful young girl dressed in blue came over and brought a large bowl that matched the tray on the altar. Although she had wings and brought about the change that only Angel brings, she did not fly or say anything. The way she came on her feet, the same way she went into the stillness of the darkness of this sanctuary. The change took me all over, now everything was gone, and we all suddenly found ourselves in the center of the room where the magnificent celebration took place. Adonai Malakhs were sitting at the table, and next to them, there were similar creatures with visors and cloths over their heads.

Then the bowl on the tray opened, and I saw Baphomet’s head resting in his blood, and the change began to run wild through the Vision. Again, the change took more effect, and a beautiful green ray descended on that head from the heavens, and from the top, I watched it and admired the god IAIDA. And that light bathed the head of Baphomet, and before I worshiped IADANAMAD three times, the head of John the Baptist was in a bowl in the center of all this Vision. It was wonderful, and horrible in the same time. And now the elemental kings took off their war helmets and visors, as all others did. And I watched, I watched for a long time all of them, standing there headless. They all sat around the table, around John’s Head, being headless themselves. It was marvelous, and it has remained so. Nevertheless, on that tray on which St. John’s head rested, I noticed its outlines, and that was the head of Lam. My Angel told me that was the Order of the Akephalos – Beheaded, and I realized that those were real and true followers of St. John.

This was the Order of John, and both the head of Baphomet and the head of John, and all the other heads that were-not-there, and me as well – was One Order. And now that Oneness disappeared, and complete darkness arose like at the beginning. I thought of going back the same way, but there was still desire in me. So I did not return. And in that darkness, seven candles got lit up. And each of the candle flames became one church of Asia, not ordinary but completely different. In the end, I do not even know why I knew them by that name. And those seven Churches burned with a very quiet and small flame, but the change of this plane shifted again, and the flames began to spread. And now, in front of me, there are Templar brethren holding torches like those flames. In time, more of them began to come, and soon they surrounded me in the form of a Greek cross. And upon the call of IAIDA, the cross converted into a Swastika. Once and again. The change began to manifest itself in the form of a vortex taking the All-of-Us overwhelmingly.

And darkness came again, but this time I was inhabited in the darkness of the night sky, and of those seven Churches that were flames, only seven stars remained in the northern night sky. I was glad for that. And now, from the direction of the constellation which was made up of those seven stars, a red-hot and terrible head was sent toward the Earth, which soon reached us, and fell collapsing like a meteor shattering everything under. There, below me, on the Earth, a great change was developing, as great as the one that used to shatter my being at the time. From that blow, oceans turned to mud, and one Dragon and his slime mixed with that mud and other people were created. They were changed and different. A voice from the Vision told me that they were Cain’s children. In time, they went underground, their blood becoming the sap of the trees. They were warmed by the Black Sun inside. And they were quiet.

The three archangels; Gabriel, Raphael, and Auriel brought the essence of Sulphur, Mercury, and Salt, and from that, they made a shining crown that they put on the head of a young woman. Seven Angels approached her, and each of them cut off one lock of her hair. And those locks were letters. Gabriel, Rafael, and Auriel were GRA; the others added letters up to SANGRAA. Therefore, it was not What or Where the Grail was, but Who. And now, it-does-not-matter.

And now the Cross is a Swastika, and the Rose was a Lily. And the Swastika used its hooks to hit Kteis of the young woman causing waterfalls of secretions that smelled of Lilies.

And now the Dragon devours All and all in Everything, and everything in this Vision. Its scales reflect the light from the heavens, making the heads of saints shine, with the letter “I” engraved – like John. And now auras have become mirrors with the head of Lam clearly visible in them, like the true head of each of Johns. Behind all this is a vision of the Dragon; the change is at its beginning standing there.

And it was so for a long time. At the end of this Vision, in the celestial space, Lam showed me SanGraa, with a very small being sitting in his left hand, sublime and simple. He turned the Cup and placed it over that little being. And not only did the Elixir fall on him, but he did not hear or see anything of the destiny that was initiated by this Vision, because it was guarded by the walls of SanGraa. He disappeared in silence. Slowly, everything disappeared.


Frater Aureus 273∴

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