On our holy vehicle

To be able to restore his health completely, the Aspirant must understand his own twisted position and accept it as part of his tangible unreality; not reality, but unreality indeed – which is based on pain and spasm of slipping into neurosis, when we lose things, gifts and people in our lives, for instance, while we actually lose what we just think is ours. Every illness is a disease of the soul, and each of them brings a sense of a foul soul as much as of the body. But all of our focus is on how to remove sludge from water – by letting it settle. It is precisely the action and efforts to purify water which stir the sludge lifting it from the surface and muddying that very water. So great is the wisdom to learn to be calm, especially in the days of putting your apparatus to probes, which has a wide and deep dimension within the A∴A∴ – stillness, which is achieved by taking a deep breath, or rather, taking a break. Our neurosis finds its way in our walk and our gestures, so each move that the Neophyte makes should be subtle, let him imagine that he is in a play, let him rejoice in every move he makes, let everything be subtle and smooth. Even with everyday movements, let him be like a ballet dancer taking a glass with a scent of royal nobility.  Let him breathe the same way, with full lungs and actively inhaling, and then let him end his lung movements indulging in passive exhaling. Let him pay attention to his breathing in moments of disorder, let him stop the striving of his mind to funnel his breathing to the shallow throbbing of his lungs. Let him enter the deep and wide amplitude of the breath actively and eagerly, sensitizing both physical and psychic moves which have been brought on by his neurosis inflicting spasms upon his physical lungs.

There is such a divine thing of doing nothing but breathing lightly in all stressful situations, as by really doing nothing we do best for ourselves. It is the very action that creates spasms, each action contributing to contractions or stretching or spasms, and each such action aims at a more derogatory reaction, which has always been directed towards us and within ourselves. Every breath has already been exhaled; every step to the left has already anticipated the right one. Only he who stands is at peace indeed. Let the Neophyte meditate upon these observations during his unrest; his Binah so cleverly urges him to move, but most of all, he drives him to that neurotic spasm leading to the wrong conclusion that it is karma, which is nothing but what we long for deep down inside ourselves, which is but love and acceptance. Each move of ourselves is a child moving; each step is a step of a child striving for the light. The Neophyte must feel well and, above all, find that child within himself.

Every Neophyte must take care of his Binah in advance, who can always turn into fear-ridden aggression in an instant. He must shy away from pursuing justice, because he is not in a position to fight anyone other than himself, nor to win and fight someone else’s battles as much as his own ones. He is obliged to pay back neither his nor anyone else’s debts – these are all but well-prepared positions of his neurosis tightening the siege around him. There is no debt, just as there is no merit. There is only one debt in the entire Universe, and that is the debt to Buddhahood, as the Bodhisattva oath, which is but the last name of love.

Frater 273∴