The Mystery of LAM

The Aspirant will certainly have opportunities to encounter a variety of bits of intelligence that can steer his work to unimaginable heights – but in the same way, disrupt his progress to the point where he can find himself wandering around the same thing for years without accepting any change that has been meant for him. They are different and exceptional kinds of guides – and their appearance will not be closely conditioned by our skill in clairvoyance and scrying. Sometimes meeting them can happen on a purely physical plane, which is very rare, and should further increase practitioners’ skepticism about themselves and their mental health, but always maintaining the specificity of following traces left by such guides.

The intelligences in our work have a significant influence, whether because of their objective existence or because of the power attributed to them by our own mind; the fact is that they act upon us largely and strongly, even if we accept that they do not exist at all. During his work, the Aspirant will encounter many types of intelligences. Some are basic and elemental in nature. Others are those coming from the shadows, hosts of their own perversions, fears and complexes, some are lovely like the most beautiful garden flowers, while others are bitter and angry. The classification itself is a necessary evil. If nothing else, it indicates our own morality and not the weapons dissected by our mind out of its own fear of accepting its own limitation. Gods, Angels, energies, spirits, demons, Archangels, and Seraphs are just ideas and forces of nature. But until the prefix of “our own” is added to that nature, their division will be a consequence of confusion, and all our experiences will be nothing but the glorification of our own weakness. The classification of beings is as important as it is important to ourselves, so the fact that a famous actor lives in our neighborhood has no effect on us if we are not movie fans.

But there seems to be a certain type of intelligence that guides souls in a special, very authentic, and unique way and deserves to be addressed in detail. One of them is certainly Lam, a being that, by its uniqueness, occupies a completely remarkable place in our history. Crowley included the portrait of Lam in his “Dead Souls” exhibition held in Greenwich Village, New York, in 1919, and it can equally be found in Blue Equinox. In that same year, it was published as a frontispiece labeled The Way, to Crowley’s commentary to Blavatsky’s The Voice of the Silence. Beneath the picture was the following inscription:

“LAM is the Tibetan word for Way or Path, and LAMA is He who Goeth, the specific title of the Gods of Egypt, the Treader of the Path, in Buddhist phraseology. Its numerical value is 71, the number of this book.”

In our program, there are certain sections that, with their completely unique brilliance, attract many young minds, as is the case with the Enochian system, for example. The study and exploration of LAM is one such detail in our work, and it is up to you to consider whether and how deeply you will engage in exploring this being and its authentic connection to the human mind, which always radiates so uniquely. As a young Aspirant, I was magnetically drawn to the figure of LAM. Many practitioners testify to very specific, vivid visions while working with LAM’s portrait as the focus of their meditation, where such experiences are often full of futuristic depictions, as well as sexual connotations, frequently interspersed with traumatic and shocking images, something I can also personally testify to.

For a long time, many Aspirants and researchers have debated whether LAM represents an extraterrestrial intelligence, an ovum, or perhaps the gleam of a penis entering the vulva. For the purpose of practical research, such a distinction won’t aid us much, but there is an interesting viewpoint suggesting that Crowley’s image of LAM is a depiction of anal intercourse, especially when we look at the area where his hands are positioned. Viewing the entire matter from a tantric perspective, it is certainly a noteworthy observation that the area around the anus is simply teeming with nerve endings, and by intertwining the contractions of pelvic muscles, which inevitably affect that area, we can present an exceptional practice that can give you answers to all these questions on its own. Or perhaps, it may raise new, intriguing questions. Sometimes, new questions can propel a person much further than even the correct answer. And sometimes, the correct answer is just as gloomy if we ask the wrong question in the first place. Asking the right question is often a more important ability than giving the correct answer. And in our sacred Academy, the right way is often found in the byway.

Working with LAM is quite simple, but the key lies in timing—it should not be done during the day or right before sleep, but rather in the early morning hours, ideally after about five hours of rest. It is necessary to set an alarm to wake us up at the designated time, then go to the bathroom and refresh ourselves by splashing cold water on our faces. Next, we should sit in a room where we have not slept and place LAM’s portrait directly opposite us, no more than half a meter away. Once comfortably settled, we need to stare into LAM’s eyes without blinking, or blinking as little as possible. Finally, we should softly and monotonously repeat: “LAM,” tightening the sphincter each time we say the name. The squeeze should be strong and brief, coming from the depths of our being, as if performing drumbeats that rhythmically follow the mantra “LAM.” This should be done for 10 to 15 minutes at most, after which we return to bed. Before we fall asleep, there is one more crucial thing to do–a practice I call focus shifting. The entire exercise is quite simple: while lying in a sleeping position, we need to shift the focus of our attention between sight, hearing, and touch every 10 to 20 seconds. Focus solely on what you see for 10 to 20 seconds, even if it is just the darkness behind your closed eyelids. The goal is to passively concentrate on your vision without attempting to see anything specific. After 10 to 20 seconds, swiftly shift your attention to your hearing. Focus exclusively on sounds, even if there is nothing distinct to hear, and passively await auditory perception. Then, after another 10 to 20 seconds, decisively switch your focus to touch. Concentrate on the physical sensations: the blanket on you, the bed beneath you, your limbs, the pillow’s surface, and your sleepwear.

This cycle of shifting focus induces a unique mental pressure. You may experience a slight spinning or dizzy sensation, a special kind of pressure on your subtle body, accompanied by a pronounced sense of transitioning between senses. This process combines pleasure and calmness, similar to soothing the soul in a cradle. The aggressive and decisive shifts act like rocking the body to sleep, while simultaneously awakening and preparing the mind for projection. The technique’s essence lies in the displacement and the pressure caused by shifting focus among the senses. This shifting can feel like a divine carousel, propelling your mind into a specific kind of awareness. Once our attention is anchored to a specific sense, we shift our focus to another, intensifying the mental pressure that comes with this transition. It is crucial to understand that the core of this technique lies in the pressure that feels almost like a physical movement when our attention switches from one sense to another. This shift must be executed decisively, forcefully, and assertively, followed by a completely passive observation of the image, sound, or touch, depending on the sense that the focus brings you to.

After completing five to six cycles of focus shifting, simply stop everything and try to fall asleep as quickly as possible. Pay close attention to your dreams, which will be exceptionally vivid, dramatic, and intense. It is important for the Aspirant to remain completely open to whatever may come; the worst and most painful thing that can happen is that nothing happens at all.

It is crucial that, during the execution of this exercise, no communication is sought, nor should there be any active desire for the invocation of LAM. The process is entirely automatic and completely passive. All that should occupy you is to perform the technique literally and carefully, without any desire for perfection. The next thing that follows is a striking experience of vivid dreams, often lucid dreaming, false awakenings, dreams within dreams, and, among other things, contact with LAM. The nature of such contact, in many cases I know of through conversations with numerous Aspirants worldwide, is intriguingly similar–a dramatic scenario of contact with a higher being, with the presence of immense energy permeating the entire experience, lingering even long after it ends. Very often, the visions are imbued with sexual, powerful energy, and messages related to technological advancements and scientific achievements of the planet, as well as the spiritual elevation of humanity. 

Indeed, these experiences and visions can be profoundly emotional and startling, often filled with unsettling content. Forming a clear opinion about what LAM truly is proves to be challenging. However, nature has made the technique for engaging with him surprisingly simple, despite the complexity of his essence. The key lies in simply gazing into his eyes. The longer the Aspirant maintains this gaze, the deeper they are drawn into a unique realm. Over time, they begin to understand that they are peering into a reflection of themselves, projected into the distant future. For the purposes of the Aspirant, working with LAM can be equally interesting as a means of expanding the mind through potentially dramatic experiences and visions that typically accompany this intelligence. It can also involve authentic sexual energy, which often follows encounters with this being, and which the Aspirant can use to deepen their work on their own level and explore their own sexuality.

Whether LAM is a future version of our earthly self, an intelligence distant by miles or centuries, we must consider if he might be a projection of our physical phenomenon, dissatisfied with the mundane perception of reincarnation. Whether he is an external entity or a mask, a deception of our own reflection created on the murky waters of the mind, always and in every respect, an Aspirant must know that every character is always just one character, every encounter is always just one same encounter–meeting one’s own Self. Every intelligence is, in fact, a reminder of that character residing within ourselves. However, there is a certain system of work that we follow, suggesting that the sum of all intelligences and entities in the Universe is always and only One. And that the main goal of all our skills is to meet with that One. Not another, but the One. Know yourself; no, but do something far more human, seemingly entirely ordinary. Meet yourself.

All of these instructions and guidelines are meaningless and redundant unless they are incorporated into the domain of the Aspirant’s practice, personal reflection, and experience. All of this is far too interesting and ambitious for mere reading, but the Aspirant finds value in this instruction as they progressively grow and close its pages. Reading this is merely a stimulus, an aphrodisiac for their personal work, which will be sparked by all of this, for personal exploration, shifting their mental conclusions, and, above all, their attitudes toward their own sexuality, which they must understand as a transcendent dialogue between them and their God, personal and unique, an intercourse in all dimensions of possible and impossible potentials.

Let the Aspirant reflect on all of this, let them challenge or affirm each word written here through personal experience. Let them dispute or confirm every paragraph mentioned, and let them progress further to the point where they might even leave all of this behind—or perhaps reject it, if it leads them to develop their own unique practice, theoretical observation, or thought on the matter.

In conclusion, I would like to share a very brief vision of mine that encompasses much of what has been said. This vision can equally guide the Aspirant toward understanding the specific atmosphere of contact that accompanies LAM, while also serving to further intrigue their spirit. In all of this, there must be a desire for exploration, which is much more like the feeling we experience the day before a journey—a beautiful, ancient instinct that arises within us when we are about to encounter something new and unexpected. It is the archetype of the mystical explorer or the stellar traveler.

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The Visions of the Twelve Rays

“Yet even so was I not deceived; for the crown hath twelve rays.
And these twelve rays are one.”
Liber DCCCXIII vel ARARITA, sub figûra DLXX

I thought I knew, I discovered that my passage further did not depend on that at all. The essence was in Change which took place deeply and long in my own blood. By the Change of my Being, I became a Change.

There seems to be a certain type of astral vision that can so much affect the soul as the worst poison. Such visions affect the aspirant long after they are received and the aspirant can find himself acting for years to comply with the orders he obtained. I do not know if I can say that the nature of such visions is purely astral, it may be questionable which region of Ruach is manifested through them. Such experiences do not actually fall under the classification of visions; vision is the way in which the experience most perfectly is accepted through the plane of Ruach, but the experience itself contains a specific type of enthusiasm, the same enthusiasm that appears in the minds of many alchemists at the moment they saw gold in remains of the dead matter. This enthusiasm is equally capable of creating one new universe, and even defining relationships within it. This enthusiasm is the accompanying act of Samadhi in some weaker minds, this enthusiasm is the essence of pure creation, its core is the Elixir of Wisdom; because through such an experience is revealed nothing else than the plan of the Great Architect. I would be more than foolish if I were to give more importance to what follows that it really does. Maybe it is pure intrigue, maybe not.

The beginning came out of its coincidence. One of those nights, I watched the unusual and always interesting influences that affect my body of light and explored them carefully. At the moment of particular attention, when my being at a moment deeply absorbed the splendor of a star in the North sky, a specific kind of disturb occurred. And it was provoked by the great Change that led my body from the light to that same star. No more than two drift thoughts emerged in my mind, long ago nestled in a different vehicle than this, and the field of my vision was flooded by magnificent blue light. I thought this was one of the usual ways in which my Angel appear, but then again, this light was completely different. To my astonishment, in the center of the light field, a large solar Swastika began to be drawn, which in the end turned into a fish. Then everything gets dark, and by that darkness, the fish disappeared in the waves of the great waters of Nun, where thousands of lilies were scattered. I floated for some time in this section of Paradise, then I came back. That was the inception of combined experiences that brought my being to enormous Change.

The FIRST Ray

I stepped through the Arcana “Fortune”; the entire display instantly passes behind me. I am starting to move at a tremendous speed forward. I travel through space, stars and planets, galaxies and star clusters pass by me. I am becoming a comet. As I progress in my journey, I become less and less, the comet is consumed and reduced. When the entire comet is exhausted, I find myself in LAM’s head that continues to ride forward. Now, we are on Earth where people welcome us; I notice that they are quite surprised and excited about the contact. Everyone waves with flags of different countries; I greet them indifferently as if I somehow know what to do and stick with it. I am stepping on the beautiful red carpet marbled with golden lines. I have a strange feeling that in one moment it is me who walks, the other moment it is LAM. I walk for miles, everywhere on my right and left are people who watch and salute me.

Finally, I come to the end of the carpet where one girl is standing. It is Andromeda, dressed in exquisite transparent silk, reflecting the perfect Greek principle of beauty. I approach her and grab her hands. Now I am Lam. I suck her consciousness through my eyes into the center of my skull, where it is to be compounded with my secretion. She screams and writhes from pleasure. Andromeda becomes pregnant. The two of us live in isolation from the rest of the world. After 11 months she gives birth to a male and female LAM.

Now I am looking at the Earth for a thousand years, it is covered by the LAM-like creatures. My vision is obscure, but I feel progress in terms of civilization. I sit on one chair and contemplate, satisfied with what humanity has come to. I feel like a superior being, but calm. Then somebody brings to me one armchair made especially for myself, I sit on it and begin to dream while awake, as some more perfect form of sleep. At the moment when LAM entered that second state, I returned back.

The FIFTH ray

Friday, January 23^rd 2004
05:23 – 06:02

I passed through and I appear in a small bay, on the seaside. Exalted fjords are around me, it is gloomy. I am walking in autumn clothes. I sat on a sandy beach and start to throw stones in the water, making concentric circular waves. Watching them inducted a great Change of awareness. Waves come to the shore transmitting little earthquakes, of which large black leeches come out of the sand. This excites me in some magnificent way. Now I lie down on the sand while the leeches start sucking my blood slowly. I feel pain, than relief. I feel that my life energy is coming out of my body. I am now in the position of a “hanged man“. As the last drop of blood leaves my body, leeches are moving away and returned in the sand. Only my consciousness remains.

On the surface above the sea, the airy character of LAM stares at me. His head is floating where the centre of these circular waves was. I get spasm all over my body. LAM is sucking me inside of his skull. At first, nothing can be seen, it is complete darkness, but as the time passes, I realize that I am laying on a bed attached to strange appliances. Some voice tells me not to worry because something wonderful will occur. I feel the electricity in my body. At one moment, I experience a love intercourse with the female LAM-like creature; I am experiencing an abstract sexual relationship with this being, a superior love pleasure. At the moment of orgasm, I am suddenly returning to the body and now again I find myself on the beach. I stand up being rebirthed. It is night, there is no one. I am watching the sea, it is now the sea of ​​sperm. I am expanding my consciousness, growing and realizing that I am actually in my skull. Then I become my body as a whole and complete.

The SEVENTH ray

I am sitting in god asana, with pranayama 6+6 without kumbhaka. Some time passes, maybe about fifteen minutes, when the first signs of automatic stiffness and sweating appear. I changed consciousness gradually, as pranayama shows its influence on my body. At the very end, I interrupted the pranayama and began to stare into the endless dark ink behind the eyelids. The vision becomes spherical, the darkness begins to distort and eventually becomes three-dimensional. I gazed at this three-dimensional darkness in front of me, completely calm and somehow alone.

I began to vibrate the name, imagining it goes toward blackness and empowering it with its Nature. The darkness began to shake and resonate with the nature of the name. In the end, I simply stepped into that darkness. I was projecting instantly and without any effort; in fact, from the moment when the darkness became three-dimensional, I was a great part in my astral body, only the intention to move forward is missed. Interesting things happen when you observe the darkness, in the same way as when we stare in the mirror, the essence is to look with the peripheral view and let everything is covered by a dim cobweb, which is a purely physiological effect. At the same time, the Change in consciousness occurs, which is ideal for astral projection; especially as the three-dimensionality of the blackness arises, then the simple effort of will is quite sufficient to submerge “into it.”

At first, I was moving very slowly. I was in a dark tunnel, I only managed to touch the walls beside me, but I could not see anything. I went forward for a short while; it often happens that when I am too close to my physical shell, and the transition to astral body performs quickly, then I have to distance myself from the physical body so I can get a vision; as if in some strange way there exist interference. Usually, soon after moving away I begin to get a clearer picture, the image is crystal clear, and transition to the astral body is complete. That procedure happens also this time, I continued to walk ahead blindly touching space in front of me until I gradually saw the contours of the wall. In the end, I walked through a narrow tunnel, very dark. The brightness could only be seen somewhere in the distance, and it was somehow blue in nature. Now I went into a large round room in which center was a well filled with water. The scene was beautiful, the blue color glittered on the walls as the light was shining from the well. The whole space and atmosphere were filled with the murmur of water. Here the clarity of the vision was exceptional, without any difference in relation to reality. The only difference was in the consciousness, which was drastically changed at this place. I sensed great energy and stability, I had the impression that I could stay in this sphere for hours without going back to the physical realm. Only then did I notice that I was dressed in my Robe, with Lamen on my chest. I leaned over the well and looked down. The miraculous energy was strongly trying to pull my Being inside. So it was, and I removed Robe from myself and jumped in, firmly holding my Lamen. I poured into the bluish ocean, the bottom was very close, and the depth was not more than a few meters. I dived forward and soon I reached the shore. There was a desert in front of me, an unprecedented ocean behind. The sun was at noon.

I came out of the water and looked at the vastness of the sand infinity. At this point, I felt strong collapsing of my vision and I wanted Change, fearing that it would break and dissolve. Therefore, I began invoking the Guide. In front of me, in the form of sandy wind, the ghostly Jinn appears; it was a beautiful girl of almost red skin and black long straight hair. Over her body, she had a white transparent silk cloth covering her face also. I gave the signs and the names but in the end, everything sealed with the LVX signs and names of the Great Elemental King and with the Three Great Secrets names of God. I felt a huge strain of force and devastation in her, but with the last names, she calmed down and gave me one large rod. Only when I took it in my hands I saw that it was actually a wrapped, thin carpet. I spread it in front of myself as I noticed the head of the Baphomet engraved on it. I started to stare at the head and immediately felt the presence of great Change as I did so, so I continued to focus on the vision. Not a few moments passed, everything around me began to grow apart and when vision settled down again, I found myself in one large stone hall. I stood in its center, and three men sat in high chairs in front of me; a young man, a middle-aged man, and an old man holding instruments in their hands and playing. It was very unusual and disturbing music. They were all dressed in yellowish outfits. The young man played the harp, a middle-aged man a mandolin, and an old man something that resembled as violin only with an even thicker resonant box. On the floor was a tapestry with an Enochian tablet of air, everything around me was airy – from clothes to instruments; their method was based on trembling of the wire, yet the ultimate outcome of their music was anxiety and almost mournful sadness. Only then did I notice the nature of the sphere behind my back; far from behind was the stone sarcophagus of the knight. I came to it very hard; the movement was rather difficult, although the vision remained perfectly clean. It was the Brother Knight Templar; I concluded this by the back of the shield that rested on the stone figure of the sarcophagus.

A flower wreath was placed on the head of the statue. Whole this place was filled with a very sad atmosphere. I started calling the guide with the names of Ruach, but I did it very quietly, for I did not want to disturb the atmosphere that was so sad, so full of dignity and honor. Soon, the tiny spark of very strong light slowly began to descend from the height, which ultimately fell on the head of the Knight’s statue; the light began to extinguish and finally, I saw a small scarab. And then Change started to show its motion, for I never heard of that music anymore, nor did I see anything around. In one moment I felt the sensation of the presence of LAM, as I clearly hear his voice that began to tell me the following words: “do not think of him as a knight, nor a priest, for he certainly is not. Think of him as the Charioteer, the bearer of the Holy Spirit. Although it is not the SanGraa yet.” These were his words, and maybe I forgot something; in any case, this was the essence of what I heard, the exact form is not so important.

At that moment, the scarab entered the sarcophagus through a small hole. Now everything around me began to dissolve and I almost completely went out from experience. I had a very clear vision, but I started to gain a consciousness on my physical body, which in most cases shows the beginning of the end of the astral experience. In my vision, I noticed little scarab dragging himself into the clothes of the warrior, how he crawling upon his body, then leaving the sarcophagus carrying the blood of the knight with him. He is crawling over land covered with deceased knights; now I found myself on a battlefield, this scarab crawl through many dead warriors, dragging traces of blood behind. All this blood is combined and scarab, carrying a bloody trail behind him, through the all this vision began to draw the symbol of the royal lily. Now I am looking at the thousands of graves and crosses piled into the ground. But the voice of LAM came back to me again (this time very dim and distant) telling me that these are not the features of death by no means. Now the vision is enlarging and I see that these crosses are only stubbornly stabbed swords. LAM tells me that these knights are not killed, their struggle is transmitted by knowledge of “one particular place“. His words were: “they are dead, but they are not killed. They are dead, every one of them!“. Now I see other knights approaching the graves and drawing crosses, actually swords and with them, they continue to travel further. I see thousands of them extracting the swords out from the ground and walking together in colonies.

Then again I felt the terrible pressure in my strange convex bone on my occiput, and I saw scarab who entered into one large book. Then appears a dagger piercing a scarab, the book closes rapidly, and when it opens again, the paper was smeared by his blood and I quite clearly saw the symmetrical drawing of flower crochet in the form of a perfect circle. Suddenly, everything disappears, and I once again saw the Knights’ sarcophagus and his flower wreath. This vision is growing, and now that wreath becomes the same circle as the sign of the European Union.

Again, everything disappears, and I found myself once more on the battlefield. Besides every dead knight, it is one being who looks like LAM, dressed in Robe. They immersed their fountain pen into the blood of the knights and wrote thousands of books; thousands of scribes over thousands of dead knights. The pressure in my occipital bone was irreconcilable.

I heard the voice of LAM for the last time, now almost soundless: “do not grieve for them, none of them. For they are dead, all to One; yes, they are dead, all to One“. Here it was very difficult for me to stay in the vision, I almost feel nauseated. “But the books are not futile, with their blood they will write to you about their place.” “What place?“, I replied. Then I was told: “such a terrible place!” And that is where everything is interrupted and I come back completely, very exhausted.

The TENTH ray

While sitting in asana, I spent some time in gently breathing, relaxing. Now I stare at the distance of the blackness behind the eyelids. For some time I have doing so, but later at moments as if I spotted a light flash in the distance, therefore I decided to focus on “it”, and entering into great Change. After a few moments of thrill, I appear in a three-dimensional sphere, like a capsule in a dark silvery colour. The vision was quite stable but I still felt my physical body; I tried to separate completely with the names of the Middle Pillar so I could get the feeling of the astral body. After a while, I succeed and my vision moves into a complete projection. This brought me great joy and enthusiasm because just a couple of days before I wanted to undertake the research of the higher realms once again.

The sphere was about 5 meters in diameter, I was sitting inside in a big armchair, somehow floating. As some time passed and nothing happened, I firmly wanted a Change in experience and at that moment a horrible murmur began, the sphere began to move. In fact, I had the impression that it was moving in a tunnel, accelerating more and more; at one point everything began to tremble and the vision began to disappears. Just when I had the feeling that everything would break and that I would be back, the sphere slowed down and ultimately it completely stood still. There was a clear change of atmosphere. Then I heard a whistling sound and the light began to entering a sphere, gradually and slowly; so I finally floated in one transparent ball. The membrane was so transparent that it was hard to see the contour of the ball sphere at all. At one point, the upper part of the sphere began to separate, and finally, I came out.

Everywhere around me stood beautiful hills covered with moss. It was the clear day but nowhere I could see the Sun disc; all this remind me of an earlier astral projectionI had more than a year ago. I noticed the pathway in front of me, I assumed it was the manifestation of the Path projected through the Ruach, so I began to follow that trail that went up the hill. As I climbed I entered the growing Change. Below me were numerous olive groves, and in the distance some magnificent cones, like triangular tents; given the enormous distance, I conclude that they are extremely large in size, maybe the size of one residential building. At the centre of each cone shines one white-brilliance lantern, all of them connected with scarlet strips. It was a very unusual sight. Then the immense Change occurred, and I already expected the appearance of my Angel, for She often has manifesting herself and acting in “such” Change. When the vision stabilized, She stood beside the road in all her beauty and mildness. We started talking about …, as we approach the top the climb of the post is getting harder and steeper. In my being I felt strange confusion over those shining cups, I do not know why I thought about them. She noticed that I lose attention and said, “well, you can think of them as centres of freedom that are networked in what you call the Lodge within your sphere of Action.” I realized that it was the idea of ​​the “Eye in the Triangle” (which was presented with cones and lights) and the spread of Freemasonry “scarlet” connections. After that, She continued with her exposure to this Sphere, speaking very interestingly, but too often indistinctly. 

I realized that I was in a specific part of Ruach, and that I had to use an abstract model of Action within this sphere. At the very top, She stops and said that my understanding was getting harder and that we should now break with the Conversation, because “specific Knowledge will come, and I will come again when you go through all this“.

I continued to the top where I saw a giant cross where Jesus hangs crucified. At that place the sky was almost entirely purple, very dark purple and the earth around me was soaked with Christ’s blood, everything was in a dark red mud. A heavy, extremely heavy atmosphere that descended from the purple skies of Binah pressed my being, and I expected that this vision would be broken at any moment and that I would return back. Then I heard a woman’s voice from those heavens telling me: “Europe is soaked with blood, with this blood. But it is always fresh and it will always be so.” I approached the cross, the vision began to change and now there was a crucified pigeon in front of me, a beautiful white pigeon. The hills around me disappeared as well as the purple sky, and everywhere was radiant bright light. A very strange, long-standing creatures stood around me and looked at me. From their direction comes a horribly screaming; I realized that this was the Qliphotic choir of the angels of this Sphere, therefore with the appropriate names I returned Silence into the vision. It took me some time to remember the correct names, but everything went smoothly and the vision did not fell apart. Now I heard the same woman’s voice, this time coming from Heaven: “look!” And the two huge hooks were stabbed in the pigeons’ chests that began to open. “Your world is soaked with this blood“. It was very unpleasant for me to attend this scene and I sincerely wanted to return, but soon I remembered my Angel and became aware that this is not the realm of the Qliphoth at all, but the vestibule of another sphere which is completely different and changed, and that all this is a rebellion of my own Ruach as it penetrates into the same sphere. So I got closer to the pigeon and looked at him in his chest. Instead of the heart, the character of LAM stood. I watched him in the eyes which pulsed as the heart was pulsing.

Everything has been moved in me to the great Change, and now a terrible rumble began to spread and I again found myself on the hill of crucifixion. In front of me was a crucified Christ, below him a figure in a red mantle that collected his blood in the small cup. I got closer and I saw it was LAM, and only now I started to notice a couple of small beings of the size of children, in the LAM-like forms. A couple of moments later, he gave them to drink from the cup, and when he finally gave me to drink, the vision began to change and I found myself in a place like a small church. In front, there was a large iconostasis and altar, on which there was also a crucifixion – but above instead of I.N.R.I., now it was written M.I.T.R.A.H. A voice behind said to me: “this is not our God! What you look at is terrible, and it is our Father“. I turned and saw a group of knights dressed like Templars, but instead of Templar cross, they had the T letter. I noticed that they all have elongated heads and very small eyes, like LAM. At that time the vision began to break, I tried to keep it in those moments, but in vain. The knights shouted: “do not be silent about this place“, then I heard other voices returning “about what place he must not be silent?” At the last moment, I heard: “He will not be silent about this terrible place!”

With that I came back, feeling the great pressure in my occipital bone. I had the impression that the nature of the whole vision was located in this bone that I had since I was born. I had a clear feeling that it means something and that it is related to the meaning of the vision.

The ELEVENTH ray

All this Vision and Voice was so heavy and inexplicable that I will enter the record that it is shown as a Dragon, as it truly was; only that and nothing-but-that. His Slime and his Scale were this Vision and this Voice. This ray is partly received by automatic writing. Partly through the inexplicable knowledge that remains unwritten. But I remembered.

That is me,
completely in myself,
raped by light and blessed with darkness.

I am black in all blackness.
My name is from every woman and from every man.
My name is שט. Death is just my fantasy,
my phallus that grows every time when
Almighty Ra feels tired!

The one who shifts.
The one who rules.
That is me. One that is not dark as it seems.
I am exiled,
and I am dirty.

I am completely in myself,
raped by light and blessed with darkness!

Stars are mine and Moon is mine.
Sun is mine, and you are mine.
Nobody knows me and nobody sees me.
I am alone and God has renounced me.
He, who is after me and who is just a drop of my seed.

In my eye, Everything is Nothing!
They are afraid of me and they retreat from me,
But they all nourished from my poison,
with my holy sperm that
makes the heart darker than all darkness.

Oh, I am black in all black.
In my eye, Everything is Nothing!

I am completely in myself,
raped by light and blessed with darkness.

Now I will crush it all.
I am Shiva. Mighty Shiva.
I am Apep. Mighty Apep.
I know you.
I know you.
With my inhale, the world dies.
With my exhale, the world does not dies.
Open your Eye and look at me well
which I am Nothing.

I change the dream of love and the taste of passion
with that terrible, burial shroud
which everyone is scared of, which everyone rejects.
I will wrap it in everyone who is not from me.
Because everything is in me.
Because everything is in me.
How stupid it is, how nice it is.
There is no day, where there is no night.

I am completely in myself,
raped by light and blessed with darkness.

Set
Set
Set
I am Set.
But I’ve never been Set!

Nothing!!
Nothing!!

I am
A
U
M

The TWELFTH ray

Monday, January 26^th 2004
22,43 – 23,51h

I waited for darkness to turn into a three-dimensional sphere by looking at it with a peripheral view; in that way, I always step easily into the astral space in front of me, on the other side I was already changed. I walk through darkness and except darkness, there is nothing more. Behind me stood various shells and planets of the world. In front though, there was nothing. I became aware that I was in a very specific plane, so I gave up from vibrating the names and calling the guide. What could lead me here when nothing is left? I reached the land of no desire, but far from that I did not want.

Suddenly, all this was a deception, and I found myself walking along the path leading to the black cube in the middle of a sandy desert. The darkness stayed far, far behind the desire. This plane appeared to me, perhaps it is the same one from the beginning, but now accustomed to its proper vibration, I called the Vision and Voice. Soon I reached the entrance of the cube, it was a Temple without a window or any openings. Pure monolithic cube with carved octagon above the blue front door (Sirius). Inside, the change was manifesting its influence on me and I found a huge lake from which a thick silver fog evaporated. On the shore in the wooden boat was a girl, equally ugly and envious. Since I did not think of her as a guide, so does my time with her become insignificant. We approached the small island on which the pyramid was built. Only then did I notice that the lake was made from the blood. As we stepped on the island, I started to walk straight toward the small pyramid. Inside, again I found the change in vision, manifested in a huge hall, a truly huge, inexpressibly huge hall inside this very little pyramid, the hall was so large that I could not see the ceiling or its periphery. I continued to go through the change.

At the center was the altar as the perfect double cube, four marble paths were brought to it, each in elemental color. I came up with a blue marble path. On the altar was placed a long wooden plate, just that and nothing more. Then, the door opened and the high priests-kings approached the altar. I moved slightly to the side because I got the feeling that I needed to look from the distance. Priests-kings were giants, with over 4 meters high. I did not see their faces, but they were in elemental attributes. I knew that they were the four holy Enochian elemental kings, so I salute them with the name EHNB. These were specific beings like Adonai Maleks, and they were waiting for something. And now one beautiful young girl, dressed in blue, came in and brought an enlarged bowl that fitted on the altar. Although she had wings and brought a change which the Angel usually brought, she did not fly or speak anything. As she came with her feet, so she went into the silence of the darkness of this sanctuary. The change took me wholly over, now everything is gone and we all found ourselves in the center of one room where the magnificent celebration was held. Adonai Maleks were sitting at the table and beside them similar beings all with visors and scarves over their heads.

Then the bowl opens, and I saw the head of Baphomet resting in blood, and change began to dash this Vision and a beautiful green ray dropped to that head from the heavens and from the top, and I watched all that and admired to the great god IAIDA. And that light washed the head of Baphomet and before I worshipped IADANAMADA three times, now the head of John the Baptist stood in the center of all this Vision. It was wonderful and terrible at the same time. And now the four elemental kings have removed their war helmets and visors, and all others have done the same. And I watched, for a long time I looked down each to one, headless beings without heads. They sat all around one table, around the head of John, being themselves headless as well. It was miraculously how much it is now. And yet, at that plate on which the head of John the Baptist rested, I noticed some peculiar reflection, and this reflection was the head of LAM. My Angel told me that this was the Order of Headless-ones, and I realized that it was a true and real name of Johnites.

This was the true Order of John, and the head of Baphomet and the head of John, and all the other heads that were not there, and myself, was that One Order.

And now that One has disappeared and a complete Darkness has emerged, like those from the beginning. I thought I will go back in the same way, but I still had a desire. Therefore, I did not come back. And in that darkness, seven candles lit up. And each of the flames of the candles becomes one Church of Asia, not ordinary but quite different, I do not even know why I knew them by that name. And these seven Churches burned with small flames very quietly, but the change of this plane again made its move and the flames began to spread. And now before me stood brothers Templars who hold the torches like those flames. During the time there came more of them, soon they surrounded me in the form of a Greek cross. And on the call of IAIDA, the cross transformed into Swastika. And so once, and so many times. The change began to emerge in the form of a whirlpool that has increasingly embraced all-of-us.

And again there was darkness, but this time I was dwelling in the darkness of the night sky, and from the seven Church that was burning, there remained seven stars in the northern night sky. And I was delighted because of that. And now, from the direction of the constellation which was made up from these seven stars, an enormous and terrible head was sent to Earth, which soon comes to us, and falls and drops like a meteor, and breaks everything before itself. Underneath me, on Earth, there was no greater change than the one which already demolishing my own being. From that stroke, the oceans turned into mud, and one dragon and his slime blended with that mud and other man were created. But they were changed and different. The Voice from the Vision told me that they were children of Cain. Over time, they inhabit themselves under the ground, their blood became a juice from the trees. Black Sun heated them inside. And they were silent.

Three archangels; Gabriel, Raphael, and Auriel brought the essence of Sulphur, Mercury, and Salt, from which they made a great crown and placed it on the head of a young woman. This crown was the circle of stars of the European Union. Seven Angels approached to that crown and cut off a piece of their hair. And those strands were letters. Gabriel, Rafael, and Auriel were GRA, the others just added to SANGRAA. Therefore, there was not what or where the Graal is, but who. And now it does-not-matter at all.

And now the Cross is Swastika, as the Rose was Lily. And the Swastika struck Kteis of those young women with its hooks from which the waterfalls of the secretion that smelled of Lily flowed.

And now Dragon is devouring Everything and All in Everything, and all in this Vision. His scarlet refracts the light from heaven, making the haloes on the heads of saints, on which the letter I is engraved, as John. And now, the haloes became mirrors and the head of LAM clearly could be seen in them, as a true head of John. Behind all this is the vision of the Dragon; the change was in the beginning and it stays there, without moving.

And a very long time passed. Until at the edge of this Vision, in the celestial space, LAM showed me a SanGraa; in his left hand, a tiny being was sitting, exalted and simple. LAM turned the holy Cup and put it over that little being. And not only did Elixir have fallen upon him, but none of the fate that was initiated by this Vision did not hear or saw by him, because he was guarded by SanGraa’s walls. He disappeared in silence. Slowly, everything disappeared.

Frater Aureus 273