The Probationer

The highest value of the A∴A∴ system is that it is self-regulatory. In a specific way, the A∴A∴ is subordinated or better say adapted to each individual, in the way that the same system is for two individuals completely different, to the point of unrecognizability. This phenomenon is almost imperceptible in the lower Grades, but it will be intensified as the Aspirant progresses further. To understand this is like observing the rhyme in a foreign language, you do not need to know what it is sung in order to perceive that rhyme; we can hear and feel rhyme without the sense of meaning. And both that sound and that sense are just the side effects of the song itself. But rhyme, that sweet sound of matching voices, then gets entirely new light, once combined with the meaning of the phrase. This harmonious continent within the song is the program by which we follow. Therefore, we learn this song, neither for language or culture nor because of historical or philosophical attainment. What truly drives our souls is the God Pan, the song of his flute takes us away from all the shores and the seas together; our destination is somewhere far over the horizon, far behind the great Ocean. Our aim is where we are and understanding this is our entire search – the search for our Self.

There is no one in this world who can tell you where or what that path is, as long as you follow your nose, you are on the right track. No system on this planet can tell us anything about this path, simply because we all know perfectly well that deep inside us, we really know everything. We know that path, and we know the end of that path. And again every time we wake up we ask ourselves over and over again where we are, instead of where we are going. We sometimes forget our place due to our endless wanderings, and we tend to ask this question out of melancholy, remembering all beings and Gods we met till now, some of them long gone, many of them never to meet again. Therefore, we ask where we are, sometimes from that natural childlike desire that comes from depths, to wake up at the place where we were yesterday, in the life and the body which we had when we were truly happy. This day is not yesterday, as tomorrow we will not be where we are now. That urge which puts us on the path, even more, which defines that path, is a mystery of the highest order. That urge is the A∴A∴ in its pure light, although we will never have the courage to say whether it is a consequence or justification of the path. This instinct that drives us, like the acid that bites our feet when staying in the same place just a moment longer, the instinct which forces us and pushes us further, so much further, is the magnificent reward of a Probationer and the value of our entire Order; all the Grades together are not worthy of one single day of Probationer’s temptation. The Superior must respect every moment of each Probation, for he will see in that what he has already seen from the first day of his own temptation until the final attainment of his current Grade. The sensation about movement, the feeling that you are on your way, that you have gone, the unmistakable impression that something is changing, that everything is changing, the thought that you are becoming mad, that you cannot go further into your Probation. The thought that you will fail. All this tells you one a certain thing: that you are on the right trail.

For the worst thing which can happen to the Probationer is that nothing happens. By signing the Oath, you have initiated one mechanism which in its own complexity does not have one simple command. The command to be recalled. For the Probationer, nothing will be the same again, not because the Universe is changing, but because he will change. That change is that path we have mentioned. The Probationer observes that everything is in the move; the universe reveals to him hidden areas and thousands of splendorous realms. But the truth is quite different. He is the one who changes, as he is the one who moves the universe with that change. This mechanism is conditional, and it is impossible to separate one process from the other, for it is quite the same thing. Changing yourself is impossible without changing everything else, like gears in a clock mechanism; you will never be able to say with certainty which gear has triggered the whole thing. For the moment you move one, all the other will move instantly. Now, if you move another, the whole device reacts in the same way, running all the others identically. Your illusion is that you are moving the gear, and your hand and all gears in the clock and your will to move that one gear is just a part of the same mechanism. And just like this one gear could not move the other without your hand, that the second gear pushes the first one through you, now making the whole of you as the third gear and a part of such exalted scheme.

The A∴A∴ is that mechanism; you cannot move any gear if you have not been moved by the other one, previously. After all, your will for moving is just a consequence of that same mechanism which affects you much earlier, through some other gear and some other consciousness.

The only factor that can hold the wheel in this madness is the Superior, only he can align the system with the Student in such a way that he will easily overcome any crisis and misunderstanding, once he finds himself long to be lost. It is precisely this reason that makes the A∴A∴ a living organism, which not only gives but takes, which does not seek but require from an individual to completely surrender himself and all from his life, which enters into all things and in all aspects of the Aspirant’s work, until his mind is occupied so much that it starts to operate automatically. Only in this way, the A∴A∴ system begins to shine with its proper brilliance, and we can conclude that until this does not happen, the Aspirant cannot bound himself as a part of the A∴A∴, rather as a stimulus and nothing more, or even a mist in that magnificent and shapeless fire.

Before we look at the Probationer’s temptation more specifically, it would not be a waste of time to consider what he is tempted to? The Probationer differs from the common dweller of this ordinary world in only one thing. His virtues and powers are no greater than his neighbor’s, yet he possesses something that will forcefully persuade his life to an utterly unexpected route. His will for change and his Oath which he gave. And as time which allows for seamless corrosion of iron, it is the same time which now affects him like the worst poison. Just a day before giving of the Oath, he was another lost soul on this plane, ready to obey to the laws of the earth and not to feel anything from what the Probationer so unbearably suffers in his soul. Soon, everybody will recognize him as a criminal, murderer, maniac, pervert, lunatic and worshiper of the devil, only because he consciously refused to go along their path. And instead of that, he chooses another way. His way.

Going in line with nature is quite an awkward expression since nobody says whose nature. A man is often withdrawn and provoked by authority, external influences, society, and family, and therefore his path is often everything but his own. But to go your own way is the talent above all talents, and more than anything else it is the highest pressure the Aspirant takes on himself. Therefore, the Probationer feels an urge to return to his dormant kingdom; precisely there lies the essence of this Grade – to hold on, which takes only time and nothing else. It is the first projection and pressure of Binah which, from the moment of giving the Oath of the Probationer until the moment of entering the City of the Pyramids, becomes the most persistent companion of the Aspirant – the most faithful and painful. Binah’s projection will change its attribute during the Aspirant’s progression through the Grades, change completely its form and the intensity of interference in the life of the Aspirant to the extent that he will be convinced that Binah’s pressure is nothing else but the A∴A∴. Which, in fact, is not far from the truth.

If the Aspirant looks closer at the Tree of Life, he will notice that Binah’s influence is quite far away; so far beyond the Abyss, behind the golden Tiphareth, that he may think that the action of Binah can be compared to the influence of a distant star upon an ocean’s tide. However, this influence is more direct and insidious projected through the 32nd Path of “Universe”, the first path to which the Neophyte enters, and it is assigned by two attributes. Namely, each Path on the Tree of Life receives the influence of the archetype which manifests through the specific sphere. Our Ego then classifies and infuses this influence as elementary, planetary or zodiacal in nature, at the same time using the action of classification as an excuse to plant the seed of control. Only the 32nd path of “Universe,” along with the 31st path of “Æon”, has a double attribution, that is, two ideas simultaneously expressing through one archetype – which is otherwise the feature of all other Paths on the Tree of Life. Precisely this path, besides the element of the earth, has the attribute of Saturn, through which Binah strikes at the Probationer, so powerfully and lowly.

The Probationer has and will always have one single task in all circumstances – to persist. But in what should he be persisting? There is plenty of discussions about the Probationer’s Grade; it would be frivolous to call one claim more or less correct than the other, but everyone agrees that the Probationer begins with his daily practice and carefully keeps a diary about it. We will return to this especially afterward because the topic is of such great importance for our work. What is the essence of the Probationer’s Grade? Some achievement that is expected of him? Some kind of quest he has to do? No. Only time is needed, and in this form, Binah appears and opposes him, therefore, that temptation is sufficient enough for him to pass further. His perseverance on the path merely delays encounter with Binah’s projections, later to be awoken again and known as the temptation of a Neophyte, which could be terrible and black as hell.

The Probationer has one obligation, and that is to work. He chooses one practice by his affinities and this practice he does daily to the end of his Probation, which will be one year. The choice of practice is not as important as the essential adherence in everyday performance but also written recordings both of the achieved results and everything that makes the Probationer’s life during this one year. There are no qualitative assessments in this, and at the cost of consecutive failures, he must sacrifice even absolute, but casual successes. And yet if he experiences the Knowledge and Conversation in one day, it will be recorded as a failure if he does not Know nor Talked throughout the whole year of his Probation. There is absolutely no point to work every fifth day for 10 hours, regarding the benefit of daily work with only 5 minutes’ duration, and the whole role of the Superior is in the insistence on this principle. What is being sought as the real intent is saturation. The apparatus of a student’s mind in repetitions finds transcendence, and this is an attitude that is exceedingly well used by the Zelator in his advancement, especially in practicing Yoga.

There are only two essential methods within the magical work, and all practices in all worlds can be categorized under one of these two diametric approaches. The first one is “invoke often,” while the other would be “inflame yourself with prayer.” While this other is more closely related to an Adept and Bhakti, the first one refers to the Probationer. “Invoke often” is a motto that excludes quality at first glance; therefore, it is suitable for work which requires a gradual boiling of the entire operation, such as an alchemical act for example, in which quantity of consumed time invested in operation changes the quality of the substances. The Probationer “invokes often”, without glow, without desire, without passion for the result. His only passion is the Great Work itself, which is so far from him and in which he does not possess any Knowledge. Because craving and desire provoke obsession, the one that so violently destroys the Neophyte, which we will discuss later on more.

Therefore, the Probationer performs one practice, regardless which one, irrelevant how, irrelevant why. What is important is only when and how often. It is precisely in this absurd quantitative advancement that lies the key of imperceptible dissolution of his nature, in a way that it refuses to recognize that his immune system is attacked and that it is impossible to produce antibodies. The daily performance of his practice is a disease in the same way as the counting of days of his Probation, it is disgusting ulcer which spreads through the organism, it is a progression of the disease which cannot be observed. Our internal being says that everything is fine, that everything is only apparent and transient, until the moment our cross conceives the rose. In this holy work, statics cause dynamics, pressure causes an explosion. Pleasant Probation does not exist; in this case, it would show either that something is terribly wrong or that it is a case of the remarkably advanced Aspirant. Comfortable Probation does not bring anything worthy, and after a few months, if all goes well, the first signs of change can be identified.

There are usually three periods of Probation, such as a standard school composition, that has an introduction, elaboration, and conclusion. However, although true works of art are not subject to generalization, some common indications can be noticed. The first period is framed by happiness and pure joy. Enthusiasm flows into the being of the Probationer, everything is so magical and peaceful, full of divine beauty and all what is being done is done with ease. Progress is visible daily, and the Angel almost knocks on the door. Depending on the eagerness of the Probationer, the brilliance of his mind and his predestination in our art, the time comes when the dark clouds will conceal him. The negative transfer starts to rise, and he will begin to doubt himself, his work and his Superior. Precisely from this tendency to deny the Superior, he sees and feels within him what he sees and feels for himself, he sees in him the source of all suffering and all the evil of this world. The Superior becomes guilty for bad practices that are getting more boring and unsound with each new day. He is guilty of poor understanding of mysteries; his relationship becomes a reflection of the Superior’s complex of lower value. “He is so insolent and rude, always harassing me, I am so alone and poor. Where is my Angel, why did he even assign this lunatic to be my teacher? Just what does he look like when he got projected in such a moral gnome I call the Superior? The Superior? How stupid it sounds to call someone who is not worth to even say hello in the street. The Superior? Well, he is surely not the Superior, he could only be Inferior. How many years he is in the Order, yet his Grade is so low. Well, if I’ve been on the path for so long, I would be at least Adeptus Minor. I will call him tomorrow and tell him everything straight; I will not bypass this, he will get everything directly in his face, I will shoot it right into the center!”

It can be said that if this second period did not come, there was, in fact, no real Probation. Certainly, this does not mean that the Probationer shall not pass validly, of course. On the other hand, we can assume that the complete misery of this period merely changes the form of manifestation and that all other forms are in fact variation of only one process which is: loss of self-confidence. There are only three main positions of the Aspirant which differ from the type of his basic neurosis. At this point, we can widely accept the fact that psycho-analysis is one of the essential tools in the hands of every Aspirant, and especially for the Probationer. The first position is the basic one, and in my opinion, it is the mother of all causes, which is fear. The second position is sadness, while the third is anger or hate. But we indeed realize that each of these positions is the same in complexity and equally natural reaction of our being to something so sublime as opening the door of paradise. All three positions are similarly useful weapons of the Ego, whom the Aspirant primarily perceives as an enemy, not because he is, but because we are deeply cursed, in this ongoing and fictive war against ourselves; miserable war, without light, without love. The enemy, therefore, knows how to withdraw, to hide, to conspire, to plot, all of the deceptions that will give us an excuse for self-preservation in our own defense mechanism. Yet not against the enemy, but in front of oneself. Therefore, the Aspirant will progress further in hatred, sadness, and fear, while the primary position cannot be assumed in advance. Even if by any chance it could be assumed, I would personally never recommend it as it would, even more, empower defense mechanism. In that second period of Probation, once the Aspirant seizes the position that, in fact, is a spin of his Ego, one of the two leading roles takes over. It is an introvert or an extrovert role, that is, depressive or militant. From the study of earlier cases, we have come to an interesting observation that militant roles are much more difficult to overcome during Probation period than depressive ones, although at first glance we may assume the opposite. It seems that this militant, warlike role is predisposed to an explosion in those more desperate and lonely minds; this role appears to be so liberating on the psyche of the Aspirant, even to liberate him from his own aspiration. And finally, instead of finding himself firmly on the ground of Malkuth as a realized Neophyte, he now wanders forever as a fierce fighter for human rights, making a bulletproof armor around him.

Even if the Aspirant endures through Probation, this position is undeniably determined for failure in the period of the Neophyte, when a strong stream of sexuality mixed with an aggressive, warlike position acts like a hurricane to the vulnerable soul of the Aspirant. On the other hand, the second, a more peaceful position but only apparently, gives more chances to the Probationer, but it is difficult to expect anything more than the Zelator, or even the Philosophus in some rare cases. The depressive role seems to create an ideal condition for the alchemical experiment, but unfortunately with an utterly false substance. And instead of mild temperature ideally transforming the quality of the matter, the depressing role now cools that same fire which obstructs Aspirant’s enthusiasm; he begins to condemn himself in what he has not been intended to succeed in the first place. Shame or guilt is just one of the projections that will push the depressive role to complete failure. This position is more easily passing through the Probation, but only because it is being assimilated with suspension and latency. In that case, one year of Probation last differently than usual, and the Aspirant only begins to receive insights and breakthroughs afterward, but Binah is already in its full force: as the master of the matter and the eruption of hidden sexuality. Physical defects and imbalances in the Neophyte create a round for the hell itself. In this case, only the acceptance that he must pass the same way back for the true assimilation of past experiences will be enough, once again, he will touch the earthly principle, but this time clean and prepared for the Great Work.

In short, the Aspirant embarks on a journey, and the only thing that he carries is water and bread. In the first position, he is so hurrying that all the water spills. In the second position, he is so slow that all the bread becomes rotten. In both cases, he will die, either from hunger or thirst. This may be a real picture of what is happening, and in both cases, the Aspirant can do nothing else but to turn back. Which is of course impossible.

Finally, the third period is like screening the sun after a stormy demonic night. It is a day worth living, and there are no words to show the Aspirant the true meaning of that joy and excitement when he passes further. Although this third, and the last period of the Probationer is, in the same place, the rising of the Neophyte, yet one more act is missing. One qualitative leap that will detach him from his whole Probation. He needs his passage through the Ritual of the Pyramid. This jump of faith into something utterly different from everything that he has done so far, the Probationer will project within himself in millions of different ways, in so many ways that it is a too an extensive topic for this book. What is expected is that he awakes on the other side of the ritual; to wake up the next day, knowing that he passed the ritual through the fact that he did it, not that he did it because he passed through it. For everything that he had to pass, he passed long before Liber Pyramidos, and that is the whole meaning of Probation. All past and future times, all of them are before his Pyramid, for only eternal now is left inside. We will have a chance to discuss more the phenomenon of Liber Pyramidos; along with Liber Cadaveris and Liber Samekh, this is all that one will ever need.

Although a lot is already known about the methodology of work, there is little original and clearly stated about the ways of performance. At the very beginning, the Probationer is encouraged to scrabble all that blurred area which he knows as Curriculum or program of his Grade, as he will be thrown into the fire; in every way, in all aspects, as much as the Superior feels it is possible. This fire is by no means an aggressive, militant creation, the one that feeds by the Probationer’s fear and weaknesses. This fire must be purifying, for it is a warm morning breeze that softly announces burning, afternoon sun-god. It does not serve for hardening the weapon but just for slightly boiling the fate, that fate which will yet have its chance to rise or to annihilate. For the Probationer indeed can do everything, it is just a question of how much of everything he can handle.

At this point, Superior’s task is to sting and provoke, as Probationer’s is to persist. Everything should be a provocation for the Superior; for the Probationer, everything must be a game. In this way unified, these two segments make a winning combination, only in this way program goes without the tremendous and unnecessary sacrifice from the Probationer. We have already said that the Probationer has only one true goal, and that is to go his own way. Which does not mean he will get anywhere. It is the emphasis on his, and not on the way, therefore, the authenticity of choice is on a higher level than the choice itself.

Furthermore, it is necessary to say something about individuals who are self-initiated in our Order without the guidance of the Superior, many discussions are leading to whether their Initiation is valid or not. Our stand is that Initiation is pointless without touching the aim; as the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel is the ultimate destination of the outer Order, everything beyond that is mere bureaucracy blinded by spirituality. I know a significant number of individuals who have achieved the Knowledge and Conversation without any formal affiliation to the Order, and even more those who, within their legitimate and recognized lineages, have not achieved even a mumble of that Talk. Until the Knowledge and Conversation is achieved, we are nothing but blind animals driven by instincts of hunger and survival of the species, and every tale of Initiation is empty and sad. The Superior is, therefore, the Student’s witness, the witness of the living consecration of LVX. But as long as there is an uncompromising tendency towards the light, the witness is redundant. Far from being worthless, but each of us must understand Initiation as a process that is not subject to any established rules. And if we look closely through history, the only similarity of all the great journeys is that they were all a resultant of a pure heart and a strong mind. Every worthy Initiation has the mark of willingness to go to the end at all costs. Unfortunately, most of the Initiations today have not moved any further from the beginning, and their value is mainly expressed exclusively in the amount of the fee. Initiation is not obtained, Initiation is requested. It is not there to concede, to lease, rent or sell. Initiation is demanded. And at the point when you lose yourself and everything that you are in that quest, Initiation finds and takes you by force. It will not ask nor seek permits. Yet by then, you will already be so changed, that nothing will be left to Initiate.

Moving through the Grades for some will be a search, for others a slight recall, for some third hell of the worst karmic repayment. Every Aspirant within what we call incarnation has its one natural habitat and a sphere in which he smoothly resides. There is always one Grade through which the Aspirant simply flies, without any effort. The issue the Superior needs to deal with is whether he will allow it; that is, will he use this talent of the Aspirant to deepen the Grade to the extreme, asking the talent to be compensated by increasing the criteria, or will he use a talent to make the Student enter the next Grade more rapidly? It certainly depends on the Superior, although he always has to think in accordance with his Grade and nothing else; only in this way will the circle be closed, and the A∴A∴ principle fully realized.

Unlike the other Grades, all the emotional stirring that the Probationer feels does not come from poorly implemented practices. In fact, the practices of the Probationer, no matter how exalted, serve only one purpose – for the mental stress and the feeling of testing to accelerate even further. He cannot fail even if he wants, and more, the quality of his work is not what is valuable for us at all. It is essential that he continually works, attacking his usual way of functioning with meaningless repetitions. And as long as these repetitions are constant, as long as he is doing them all the time and always, it is irrelevant what he is doing and how he performs. The practice does not serve the Probationer for any achievement, but for the attack, above all on his thinking apparatus, which in this way acts as leverage of his Ego to move it from the usual pedestal in which it is fixed by inertia. In a large number of cases, whenever the Probationer has a sense of comfort, it can be said with great certainty that the whole process is poorly placed, which in no way means that his Probation is wrong. Poor Probation is an absurd expression, and our nature will always find a way to get the maximum even from the worst circumstances. There is no proper or improper Probation, unlike the appropriate or inappropriate Probationer. The process of finding the ideal Superior also seems to be condemned entirely to failure; the A∴A∴ mechanism will secure everything to make the best possible Probation from the worst Superior and the worst Probationer. The question is what would happen then, but we do not need to spend too many thoughts on this subject. Let the only measure be the feeling that something is happening and nothing more. The tasks of the Superior and the Probationer are clearly and precisely defined, and there is no place for speculation, except in some special cases of Dominius Liminis. This one Grade, which is not a Grade in a true sense of the word, is destined for recapitulation and an extreme intensification of temperature; therefore the burden of this speculation is, in fact, the ideal fuel for this process. In the end, the higher temperature is achieved, the better it is for everyone, for something that the Aspirant’s mind cannot assume even in his most abstract models of thinking will soon happen.

Much can be said about the affiliation between the Student and the Superior, and as equally the Student and the Superior have the attribute of their Grades, so their relationship will be the refraction of those crossed forces. Although variants are almost infinite, some general analogies can be drawn. Thus, the relationship between the Probationer and the Neophyte can escalate into fear, stiffness, or even perversion of the fatal kind, while the relationship between the Probationer and the Practicus can be distorted and boring to the frontiers of the understandable universe. To the Zelator, the Practicus can be an insult to intelligence in certain circumstances, while the Neophyte can find seeds of idolatry and adoration in the Philosophus. What can draw particular attention is the influence of the time to the moment of giving the Oath; that is to say, a Probationer who took the Oath in the sign of Scorpio can behave entirely differently from the one who did the same during Cancer or Leo.

Each Aspirant should think about this, as much as it is necessary to overcome the possible crisis that he has, realizing that it is just a natural phenomenon which must be followed with attention, from its formation to its end. Each Grade, especially the Probationer, is one observation, equally of itself and the environment, and all wisdom is knowing that between these two there is no difference. The difference is only in the experience of that between; our Ego creates an illusion of the Grades because it is the only way he can comprehend itself – as variation and form of that difference. In the same way that each Superior must understand everything that is proceeding in the soul of the Probationer, and understand the exact reasons for each of his actions and decisions, so the Probationer must know that the Superior has his own course and the task of his Grade as well. He must express attention and goodwill toward the Superior as much as the Superior returns in the same manner. The nature of their relationship is the commiseration as much as companionship, and not fraternity in the usual sense of the word.

This is an excellent occasion to note what happens not only to Probationers but to all the other Aspirants within the Golden Dawn, which is the sense of the weight of the Grade that the Student projects into rational contrivance and paranoid thinking. At any moment, whenever he goes through a tough period, let him think of the next instruction given by the Order:

“Let him be mindful that the word Probationer is no idle term, but that the Brothers will in many a subtle way ‘prove’ him, when he knoweth it not.“

Always and continually, the Aspirant should look at every circumstance of his Probation as a specific dialogue between him and his Angel. He will indeed later realize that his entire Probation is actually a synopsis of everything that will continue to happen to him and that his whole transition through the Golden Dawn will be summarized inside one year of his Probation. In one fantastic way, his mind will construct everything from that one year; the experiences of the Neophyte, Zelator, Practicus, Philosophus, Dominus Liminis, even the Great Work itself. Therefore, it is the essence to perceive that all the Grades have already passed and been lived through the passage of Probation. Everything forthcoming in our Order serves only in a way to live that one year over and over again, every time more conscious and firm, to the moment when the Aspirant receives Vision and hears the Voice. Everything inside our Order lasts one year. Every Probation, every second, all Æons and all Grades, last only one year; there is nothing above or wider than that one year. And that one year is only one thing, as every occurrence is one and the same Probation, one mystery which the Aspirant deals inside his Pyramid.

It is never too often to stress: the Superior’s task is not to make the Probationer passes. It is the task of the Probationer. What the Superior needs to do with his work is just to separate the suitable from unsuitable ones. Occasionally, there will be those who are simply not fitting. Despite their hard work and a pure heart, the Probation will be too much for some, and they will make that worst choice in the whole work, which is to give up. Only in this case, the Superior really can do nothing. Once a conscious and formal withdrawal has been made, it cannot be compensated in any way. There are various instructions on what can be done with the one who has given up. After some months or even years, the Aspirant could return with a desire to work again. It is my opinion that we should not be too rigid about this, although it is a full right of the Superior to deny. However, in the deepest part of my soul, I feel that there is nothing more glorious than to tell someone “come, I love you.” Being a star does not mean we all have the same shine. There are conscious and mature stars, but there are also those young and childish, which will grow and glint when our shining fades, and these stars should be given the opportunity to go forward. As long as it is forward, and only forward as a pure motive, I will agree to a compromise. And as long as love is an essential impeller, I will always say yes. How often have we all fallen and how much should we stay in the mud if there were not friendly hands and support, someone’s warm embrace that infuses the motivation to continue? Not a single fall of the Probationer is natural; after all, Probation is given to pass, not to fail. The purpose of the exam is above all to learn, not to dismiss.

Disguised as a beggar, the great Odysseus was patiently enduring suitors’ abuse. He uttered words which the Probationer will sense perfectly: “Still, my heart, for you have suffered heavier things”. Secretly knowing that, when the time comes, he will kill every one of them. Even in the book Hagakure, we can find something about this matter. It says: “If there is something that points to what an individual does well, the only important thing is: let him endure suffering, without exception.” Still, we must add that such temptations have nothing to do with the suffering of the old age; joy in the expectation of the sun birth at dawn is as real as distant, the Probationer must know that the nature of the universe is in his advancement and nothing less.

The Probationer is an uncut gemstone of the A∴A∴ which will never become a valuable sapphire, or a brilliant. The core of the entire Superior’s work lies in this intactness. His job is not to abrade that magnificent stone, on the contrary. He is there to taint it so much that he can redeem it cheaply, on the market of gods and stars. And then to put it on the altar in the most hidden part of the Temple. I do not care if you succeed; I care for you to attempt. And as long as you try, it will mean you are failing. And little by little, from your attempts you will become successful which I am not interested in, as I said. The moment the Student fully understands the role of the Superior, he would Know and Talk with his Holy Guardian Angel. Therefore, the role of the Superior is always condemned to deception, he is either overestimated or underestimated; the real understanding of the Superior would signify that the Aspirant achieved much higher Grades.
The Superior is not a guru, as the Student is not a brat. The Superior is a man of flesh and blood; he is an accomplice in the crime, not a hidden plotter who will do everything to get the blame on the Student. The Student is of that same flesh and blood, the same which has brought the Superior to where he is now, yet different enough to bring the Student somewhere else. The Student should understand that the Universe will hunt him like a hound if it senses fear or insecurity inside him. And when the black clouds overwhelm him, and all the work seems so absurd and full of suffering, when only moments are stopping him from tearing his Oath, then one instruction from the Superior will be enough for him to understand finally. That no one will gather the stars for him. He is the star himself.