What you want and what you do not want is one and the same thing. Because in the end, that end is always the same. On the other side, yet, is the beginning. And the A∴A∴ is everything. That is the only statement which I found to be true enough and stimulating of all descriptions I have ever managed to suggest concerning the A∴A∴; and the more I have thought about it during all these years, the closer I have been to the very beginning. Stimulating in the sense that it contains all that the A∴A∴ is, it is so severe in regards to everything that the A∴A∴ is not. However, if the A∴A∴ is everything, is that everything enough for us? In order to understand this, we should primarily understand the very nature of the A∴A∴; what it is in its very essence and what it represents. Little has been done so far for the Aspirants to truly comprehend what the A∴A∴ is before they undertake for their life something as magnificent as giving the Oath of a Probationer. Although almost everything is practically known about the formal structure of the A∴A∴, at least regarding the Golden Dawn, the places where we can find indications about its essence are seldom. Somehow, it seems that historical records, an abundant list of literature and exceptionally clear, scientifically explicit explained Grades, all become just an excuse for ignoring that essential, simple childlike question: What is the A∴A∴? As if the A∴A∴ itself wanted to play a game with us, creating a mystery at the very beginning. If we now look closer into one of the basic tenets of the A∴A∴ which claims that mystery is the enemy of truth, then we cannot but ask ourselves if the A∴A∴ is a friend of this same mystery? What kind of principle is this tenet which is disregarded so impudently and openly right at the threshold?
The A∴A∴ is a living body. More so, the A∴A∴ is at the same time a living organism of that simplest, most wicked nature. The species which manages to survive over time, which adapts to all circumstances and every environment. The A∴A∴ is a virus of the deadliest kind, one transmitted by a thoughtful touch. Its incubation period is ever; although nobody has yet perished from it, no one has ever been cured for sure. That virus, once it has settled into its host, starts to do something that is an entirely unique phenomenon in the universe. Instead of changing its host, it changes the universe. So elegantly and with such sophistication that the host himself also starts to change without even noticing, because he is a part of that same universe. Actually, it is not yet known if the change of the host is the result of the virus act, or it is self-delusionof his immune system. Its treatment is so slow that we cannot say for sure if this change is the result of it, or merely a natural deviation occurring over time. The A∴A∴ is a virus, once it has been inserted into our mind, it starts to reign over us eternally, without even doing anything at all. Its fundamental influence is upon the system of thinking and neural connections. As if the infected being, frightened by the appearance of this new foreign body, starts to surround itself with the light, so bright and so enchanted that it casts away all darkness. The A∴A∴ is an elusion of light; it is a mist of a never explored region, it is an excuse of our being that, under the state of emergency, starts to produce a new value, spiritual value, and the whole system begins to work for some new purpose. What is then this foreign body whose cause is ourselves? Who is the real host and who is the real intruder in this wondrous mechanism? And what kind of treachery is it which seems like a game, again so serious that seems like a war?
Master Abuldiz once said that the A∴A∴ is All. And it looks like we need that to be repeated once in a while. Before we endeavor to put things into place, it may be convenient first to try to define that All or Everything. Everything is a concept delineated by two quite certain points, that which we call the beginning and that which we call the end and the whole essence of this story lays woven across this loom. Unfortunately, nobody remembers the beginning, and from the endnobody has returned, so the geography of this region is pretty obscure. On the other hand, regarding the history itself, humanity mostly remembers only what it finds suitable; but what is indeed certain is that there is nothing that shakes the human society as extraordinary as the appearance of Genius. Hence, what is Genius? What is this anomaly whose nature is Everlast and outcome is Always? If something is certain, there is a mechanism through which a divine scheme is manifested, no matter how random its appearance may seem.
The concept of Genius is tightly connected with the concept of the A∴A∴, by the plain fact that both of these concepts have no reasonable explanation. What we can openly assume is that Genius is a specific form not of intelligence but awareness. In a similar way in which the term Buddha differs in Hinayana and Mahayana, Genius in our context does not necessarily represent a person with intelligence, but rather with a specific authenticity which, though often uses high intelligence, does not necessitate it. It seems that Genius is a being less conscious of himself and his surroundings than it is of the interaction of these two, or, to put it in simpler terms, a being who is aware of his own path and his true nature. Genius draws and finds resemblance from all spheres and all heavens, and we shall only mildly mention one of Parsifal, Levi, Leonardo, and Tesla.
It is now worth noting that the nature of Genius is quite akin to the nature of the Fool. In the outer environment, people of their time perceive this being as deviant and morbid, sometimes even showing a benevolent attitude towards him, trying with all their might to help this being and bring him under the wing of the mother mediocrity. But the nature of Genius is like a storm; predictable but undoubtedly unstoppable.
Furthermore, who is the most powerful court figure? Is it the pompous King, or the pouting Queen? Who has the power to tell everything directly into everyone’s face, whether true or false and stay alive? When a kingdom falls, the only person that is left to live is the court Fool; moreover, he will surely keep his role as a Fool at the court of a new King. The Fool is alive only because of his foolishness, and the crazier, more insolent, and more reckless things he says, the more he will be rewarded. The Fool knows all the secrets of the court, everyone trusts him, because the Fool takes nobody’s side. Furthermore, no one thinks that the Fool will abuse that trust for personal gain because he has no personality. He is mad. Everyone confides in him for everyone is sure the Fool is too stupid to take any advantages from it. The Fool knows everything as everyone thinks that the Fool knows nothing. Because one who knows he is stupid is in much more lead than those who just think they are smart. Hence the Fool is Genius. His job is to be mad, to be nothing else than what he is, and we can only roam in the shadows of our thoughts to search for his true aim.
Definition of madness. Occasional changes in people’s behavior which are deployed randomly enough in what we call civilization. It creates a pattern that ratio defines as abnormal or beyond ordinary, depending on the cultural subgroup. An interruption in the appearance of such a change leads to the perception of the change. Thus, beyond ordinary is that which is inconceivable. Abnormal is that which is misunderstood. Sometimes perverse, sometimes lovely, sometimes miraculous, but always based on the intersection of all descriptions, and that is – attractive. This spice in the meal of our soul is present in every Grade of our Order, except in the case of Adeptus Exemptus and some cases of Dominus Liminis. Attraction is the exclusive ability and the monopoly of Will, not as a law but as an intrigue; as mobility of our Ruach to focus on seemingly dead and unimportant things, always for only one reason – because it wants it so.
Therefore, madness caught Genius with an infection, divine madness that can be transmitted only by other Genius. This virus of insanity that involves your being at the moment when you think clearly enough about yourself, holding that thought, perhaps not more than a moment. The A∴A∴ is a virus. The objective of this infection, the only purpose of this virus is to tear down your immune system to the extent that it cuts all the influence of the Divine on your own soul. This is the time of the viruses. This is their time, and there is nothing we can do about it.
All that can be said about Genius does not deserve more than a few paragraphs of this book. We can say that all, even the negative connotations towards Genius are nothing else than his worshipping. Therefore, jealousy and the worst envy against Genius is the blessing of his appearance, while ignoring him is yet blasphemy of the highest kind. There is no greater sin for society than neglecting a Genius, and we can be sure that nature will sooner or later find ways to sanction society, even the entire epoch in its ignorance before the appearance of such a divine creation.
What defines Genius is his authenticity, his exceptionality which exceeds all standards of taste and mediocrity, to the extent that the worst vulgarity in his possession easily becomes an object of the highest divine providence. Every movement of Genius is therefore accompanied by authenticity, from the way of his speech, walking, and even so corrupt things such as tics; it seems that the authenticity of Genius is magnificent in things that an ordinary man would suffer in the eyes of critics. The nature of Genius cannot be stereotyped into any particular acts, and as long as such work is of the usual kind, it can equally be so far from a reasonable classification that it may seem to us that Genius is loafing, while in his mind with child’s enthusiasm he deals with trial essentials for the survival of the Universe. The phenomenon of Genius cannot be conditioned by its definition and observation in the eyes of the outside world. We can assume how many Geniuses wentunnoticed like the fall of autumn leaves behind our back, how many Geniuses realized their courses while the whole world slept. We can believe that Genius is a selfsufficient process, and certainly not a mere resultant of the forces. He is more a specific type of counterpoint of destiny towards something that is now quite near to the A∴A∴. And that is the mechanism of moving the universe. Genius only uses this particularity, his inalienable authenticity to draw the attention of the Gods to what he has been predestined to do. Mechanism of Genius’s motion is the same mechanism as the A∴A∴ motion, only the opposite direction. Genius, therefore, exerts its nature from outside, while the A∴A∴ acts inward; understanding one mechanism reveals the other.
The A∴A∴ is a virus that paralyzes the body so Genius could possess it; so briefly that fate could not notice, long enough to fully accept the new karma as his own. For Genius is precisely like that, to act out of range of all external influences even at the cost of complete destruction and wasting of one whole incarnation. Genius is such as it is because it is just as such and like no other.
The true name of Lord Buddha is Tathāgata, which means “suchness.” His true name denotes his true achievement, and this is nothing more than the nature of suchness, that is, the Truth is as it is – whatever it is. The least we can conclude is that the nature of Buddhahood is so true and enlightening precisely because of the fact that it is so unique and authentic. This is not about emphasizing on what it was, but precisely on how it is. Something which is solely the Truth has no purpose for the symbol because this symbol is a lie as any other. But even the lie of the Truth is the truth about the lie of the Truth. Tathāgata is indeed the true name of Buddha and the nature of every Genius.
Genius is, therefore, the only true aim within the A∴A∴, and all that we will testify further is the achievement of such a Genius. Genius is the A∴A∴, and the A∴A∴ is Genius, and everything we will encounter is nothing more than the signs along the road. It is of utmost importance that your journey in the A∴A∴ is pervaded with freedom and unburdening, and most importantly, with a child’s sense of play. Pay no attention to someone else’s success, especially to your own. Count that the vast majority of everything you will ever hear from others is complete nonsense. Do not identify your advancement with wrong statistics, but only and ever in relation to oneself. From the beginning, it has never been sufficiently emphasized that the A∴A∴ is an individual system in the first place. There is the one who introduced you and the one whom you introduce, and that is the whole thing. It is the closed system, which in all its closeness has one sole quality of openness. Openness for Genius. The Grades are nothing but your own guideposts, and all you discover is that they are like an act of onion peeling. Advancement through them, no matter how many current truths it reveals, actually serves to reject these truths and not to perceive them, since none of these truths is permanent, acting only as a consequence of staying in one Grade. How brilliant is the observation that neither experience nor achievement in the A∴A∴ is assimilation but transcendence, which occasionally implies their destruction. The only two relevant attainments in the Universe, the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel and crossing the Abyss, are, in fact, completely diametrical. With the first one, you achieve what you are, so after that you can achieve what you are not. In all paradox, you cannot achieve what you are, not before you achieve what you needed to reject. This rejecting is not a passive motion at all. The essence is not to remain a child but to become a child. That covers all the secret and wisdom of everything we will talk about; all Grades are nothing but preparing for that task. Advancement in the Golden Dawn, from a Probationer to Dominus Liminis at first glance may look like the assimilation of the elements and the formula of Tetragrammaton, but it is everything except that as only an Adept can have real knowledge of elements. The passage further involves awareness not of the elements, but of what we just think the elements are and what our Ego now reveals with astonishment, in fact, is just an invention of yet another treachery in your life. Therefore, the path towards truth is nothing more than the advancement and confirmation of false beliefs which, however, are nothing but our projection of what the truth looks like and nothing more.
Grades are meridians of the soul, and like earthly meridians, they are just a matter of agreement, and as it does not mean that there are visible lines on the planet, it can be said that from the standpoint of LVX, Grades do not exist. All the Grades of all the Aspirants together are constantly impelling one single query, and that is: Where are you? What we truly need is an answer to another, a more important question which is: Who are you? And there is only one Grade which will give you a solution to this. Yes, indeed, this is the right standpoint to everyone in our Order, and you should not spare effortalways to steer yourself in this way. Grades do not reflect the elements, but rather the illusion of the elements. The truth awakens in Tiphareth, therefore their truth below is just a distorted perception of some false reality. No matter how hard you try, it will just never be enough. Whatever you do, it will never be good. And that is precisely what we need.
Every piece of new knowledge is an old one, just vestured, and this old knowledge is founded on our senses, andhowever subtle may be, they are just a fraction of the distorted truth that we struggle for. Never underestimate the senses; regardless of how much you think the truth is intangible, it is only a product of electrical impulses in your brain. Right now, these words you are reading are not in front of you as you may think, but inside your mind. You are not looking at them, you are looking directly inside yourself, in the part of the brain that is seeding this projection as a visual image, which ispurely and solely constructed by you. They are not letters at all; they are particles of yourself. Your path of truth is made of lies. Any mentioning of truth is just a word, it is a technical negation of your natural state, and that is a lie. No matter how extensive this book is, and every other in the world, only one advice is valid and worthy. Doubt everything and everyone. All turmoil through history shows that the statistical number of those who reach the truth is completely inverted to the number of those who are trying. In this lies the painful fact that no matter how much we try to think the opposite, all our efforts are condemned to failure from the beginning, for we have established the whole system in false relationships and in a broken mechanism that has a lower statistical success than pure randomness. You cannot think right, thinking itself is wrong just because you think. The experience of enlightenment of the one who is trying is statistically less possible than the one who has the experience without actually wanting it at all. There is a greater chance of enlightening someone cleaning his dishes than sitting in his asana, and this is the first disturbance that a Probationer perceives. His observation that thingsjust do not work, the more the Aspirant tries, the more he fails. Therefore, efforts are not a measure of success, or talent, nor hours of practice. The truth is somehow closer and simpler, it lies within Genius who gently waits for his moment, and as long as we discourage him by various exhibits and experiments of God, he will remain silent without a desire to expose himself. His natural habitat is darkness, although its nature is nothing else than LVX, and the objection to this is only a matter of our wrong perception. The nature of Genius is suchness as much as oneness, and in darkness, there are no things, there is no unity or duality, not because they do not exist but merely because they are not perceived. If you want to hide things in the room, you do not have to put them all under your bed. It is quite enough to turn off the light. This action, that movement of extinguishing the light somehow simply forces Genius out of his environment. And then, when your gnosis, like LVX, illuminates everything and enters everything, it will offer you one single chance to see that Genius, fast enough before he wriggles and disappears again. But that darkness, the supreme initiator of all things and the creative element of the universe, that faceless root of all creation is the A∴A∴ in its very essence, and all disagreements on this are nothing but excrements and obsessions of all our fears from all our lives together. Therefore, LVX is the nature of the habitat in which Genius resides, although Genius is not LVX. This is a great mistake made by many experienced Aspirants, who identify the condition with nature. Believing that something which is colored by blue must be blue — that something bright must be light. The light is only a consequence of the passage of electrons through the resistor, and as long as the particular voltage is present, light will be manifested. However, without voltage, light will disappear; therefore the survival of light is conditioned. Maintaining light in this way is an entirely unnatural appearance of things that only begin to shine when the voltage is present and what our perception defines as bright and visible. In all its exceptionality, a clay teapot is not real; what is real is only clay. How would a teapot ever exist without clay? A teapot is just clay formed by Genius in the shape of a teapot. Ice does not exist; there is only water. Ice is only a consequence of Will passing through water, transforming it into ice. It is the same with all the other elements.
The nature of Genius is LVX, but he is not even nearly LVX. LVX is the aggregate state of illusion and just the accompanying action of Genius, but he has nothing to do with that light. I will be so ruthless to say that he was raped by the light and blessed with darkness and that LVX is nothing but the inability of our being to understand our own authentic, unique and above all, simple nature. The flash of LVX is, therefore, a rebellion of our lower nature, a rebellion against what Genius indeed is, in all its simplicity from the beginning of time until this current moment. It is a rebellion of all yourbeliefs against what Genius is. It is the reaction of your senses toward the irritation of Genius. Even now, as you read this article, letter by letter, the meaning about words and concepts comes to your mind, then about the sentence, and then about the knowledge that is being transferred to you. The only problem is that this transfer of thought is not intended for Genius. It is intended for you. Genius is not in you, above you or inside you; he is precisely in this transmission, in that state between, he arises a moment after the perception of each of these letters, coming out as formed and embodied knowledge. And no matter how much he looked different, he is actually the same. He is always the same because you are always the same – again, constantly, always the same in the everlastingly same way. The whole concept of reincarnation is meaningless, the way it is conceived by weaker minds, not because it does not exist, but because we are always experiencing the same. There are no Grades, as there are no incarnations. There are no other lives. Are they not just an excuse for our weakness to understand this one?
What really incarnates is the present, you have read all this endlessly many times, always reacting in the same way just as you are reacting now. This is the same thing you are doing all the time, and while floating in that doing, you project a false impression that this is the first time. Moreover, you project the same impression as it is the beginning. And as youknow how these words started, you know how this book will end and where the end of your quest is, and you already got that knowledge in what your mind just calls tomorrow. Both yesterday and tomorrow are equally distorted experiences of Genius as long as he refuses to experience his feelings now. The Knowledge and Conversation is not hiding in the present,because it does not need to hide. Instead, the present is what is hidden inside the Knowledge and Conversation. What is curdled in that now, hushed and small, is the A∴A∴. Your consciousness is just the resultant of all the impressions which these words are transmitting now; moreover, it is the side effect of discharging the force. Our Ego is like the light which occurs when electricity passes through the resistor. Neither you, nor your Ego, nor is Genius that resistor, even less that energy, and no matter how you set this parable, you will not get anywhere. At this place, trying to resolve what Genius is against what is not, would only mean making the same mistake again, all the Æons forever.
You can determine that your whole apparatus, your system of bloodstream is actually an open system and that it is just a part of a more extensive process and movement in the universe, so the moment you truly realize that you are the one conditioning the blood circulation, or who contracts the heart muscle, that moment you will be the one who shines with all the light from the stars. Therefore, the influence on your heart muscle is no further from influencing the impact of a volcanic eruption, or the influence on Jupiter’s trajectory. Some young souls can ask how the problem is solved if two Aspirants want an utterly opposite trajectory, but our answer is very simple. In that portion of time, that is, at the moment when youdirectly perceive the truth about Jupiter’s trajectory, you begin to draw the knowledge of the universe through that trajectory. And the nature of this trajectory is not to be changed but to be followed. At that moment, if you want anything else, you can be sure that you have not achieved what you intended and that your mind is still on the Earth.
All the troubles in our art come from the fact that we are not able to understand the simple thing – that every knowledge and every conversation is the Knowledge and Conversation with the A∴A∴. Think about how much forms it has, how many pieces of knowledge? How much A∴A∴? Your entire life is just one of the ways of performing one and the same dialogue between you and your God; no, it is precisely that between.
One of the highest projections of True Nature is that it can be realized at all. You can walk this path or not; it is a matter of your own choice. It is not even a matter of thinking “is this my True Will“? Because, although everyone knows that “Do What Thou Will” does not mean “Do What You Want,” few are capable of Doing what they Want, and even fewer can Do what is their True Will. Therefore, do as it suits you. True Nature has no compromise, and yes, it is an epithet of the elite. Do not ask me why this is so; the whole thing resides in your personal choice. This life consists of only two extremes – the necessity (around you) and the choice (inside you). Be free in every choice, especially in the wrong one. Mistake freely and progress freely.
The A∴A∴ is certainly not, neither will ever be a Thelemic order, but a pan-æonic, all-pervading, omnipresent. Like cosmic void, in which there is neither morning nor dusk, its spreading is not framed by the loom of time nor space. Moreover, its movement is always as its nature is everywhere. The Dawn of the New Æon will never experience its afternoon as long as we proclaim it as New. Far too much time has passed since the writing of the Book of the Law, all its words and verses are far too familiar, how many of us are really aware of what our True Will is? How many of us are aware of our own paths, how many have come to their final destinations? How many questions without answers? And mostimportantly, how happy are we? It is this question, simple and so shy that we never even ask ourselves. How happy are we? And after all, how much do we want to be?
The A∴A∴ has one thread within itself, which somehow completely escapes from researchers over the course of all this time. It is the idea of a constant movement and migration – the transfer of learning from one Student to another, in endless variants and interpretations. Precisely in the idea of migration lies the answer to many of the riddles that the A∴A∴sets before us. Like the mercury, the A∴A∴ is constantly running away and moving from the reach of human reason whenever it touches it, while it blazes and burns like a flame already suppressed spiritual expectations. Perhaps our brilliant mind has projected the very idea of the Order to simply give meaning to one centuries-old migration: simple enough to sustain, mysterious enough to survive. Maybe not. And like a kaleidoscope, the forms that emerge as the time passes are genuinely fantastic and diverse – and the man is precisely the one who is the most crucial part of the puzzle inside this whole story. His inner urge to deal with these things and to love what is incomprehensible. To believe in volatility and to doubt on veracity; His Will is his own Destiny, and it is convenient to think that all fates in all the worlds are the A∴A∴.
Here, everything is needless; there is no polite behavior, gentle manners, an exalted Superior who will say “everything is fine,” there are no twisted words, secret signs, passwords and instructions that would convey the truth about something so simple, so obvious as the truth about yourself. And when all around you has lost its meaning, when you reach a wall that you think you cannot pass, when temptation pushes you into the deepest abyss of the soul, you will be delighted. Because the face of an Angel is the easiest to find in Hell.
Therefore, do not take yourself personally. In the night of Pan.
 It should not be confused with the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn.